A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006. Now a Popeyes fast food restaurant on Google Maps.

Recent entries:
•“Civil engineering implies the existence of criminal engineering” (4/23)
•“Dungeness crab implies the existence of Dragoness crab” (4/23)
•“If you don’t understand why the Electoral College exists, you’re the reason” (4/23)
•Angertainment (anger+ entertainment) (4/23)
•“Everything you see on TV is a scripted performance with the purpose of shaping your world view…” (4/23)
More new entries...

Entries in the category Buildings/Housing/Parks
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“To avoid taking down my Christmas lights, I’m making my house into an Italian restaurant”
“To be honest, I’ve wanted to spray a lot of people with Lysol before this all started”
“To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow”
“Today I learned that ‘Wet Floor’ signs are not a request”
“Too poor to paint and too proud to whitewash”
“True house cleaners aren’t just born, they’re maid”
“Turn a regular sofa into a sofa bed by simply forgetting your wife’s birthday”
“Two blondes walk into a building. You’d think one of them would have seen it”
“Two cats sit on a roof. Which falls off first?”/“The one with the smaller mu.”
“Vines creep, then leap” (“first year it sleeps, second year it creeps, third year it leaps”)
“Walking down the stairs is falling with extra steps”
“Walls for the wind, a roof for the rain, and drinks beside the fire…” (Irish blessing)
“Warning: My alarm tells me you’re in my house. My gun tells me not for long”
“Washing windows is a pane in the glass”
“Watch grass grow” (a boring activity)
“Watch paint dry” (a boring activity)
“We don’t have a welcome mat at our door because we’re not liars”
“We don’t have a welcome mat at the door because we’re not liars”
“We shape our buildings, and afterwards our buildings shape us”
“Welcome to our ‘ool’. Notice there’s no ‘P’ in it. Let’s keep it that way”
“Welp, paid rent. Now I got a place to starve to death”
“Went to the bathroom earlier and took a poo. Not sure whose it was, but it’s mine now”
“What a house! Nothing but rooms!”
“What clothes does a house wear?”/“Address.”
“What did one elevator say to the other?”/“I think I’m coming down with something!”
“What did one wall say to the other wall?”/“Meet me at the corner.”
“What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?”/“You’re too young to smoke.”
“What did the curtain say to the floor?”/“Stop looking under my skirt!”
“What did the curtain say to the window?”/“I’ve got you covered.”
“What did the hot dog vendor say at the World Trade Center?” (joke)
“What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?”/“Supplies!”
“What did the monkey say after he got his tail in a lawn mower?”/“It won’t be long now.”
“What did the monkey say after he got his tail in a revolving door?”/“It won’t be long now.”
“What did the painter say to the wall?”/“One more crack and I’ll plaster you!”
“What did the real estate agent say to the other agent?”/”‘House’ it going?”
“What did the sandwich say to the doorman?”/“Please lettuce in.”
“What do astronauts use to stay warm?”/“A space heater.”
“What do I know about bonsai trees? Very little”
“What do you call 2 witches sharing an apartment?”/“Broomates.”
“What do you call a $1,000 door?”/“A grand entrance.”
“What do you call a ceiling bill that makes you pass out?”/“A roof fee!”
“What do you call a drunk wall?”/“Plastered.”
“What do you call a fast escalator?”/“An escasooner.”
“What do you call a leprechaun’s vacation home?”/“A lepre-condo.”
“What do you call a snake that loves building houses?”/“A boa constructor.”
“What do you call a snake wearing a hard hat?”/“A boa constructor.”
“What do you call a town with a lot of benches?”/“A sitty.”
“What do you call a witch’s garage?”/“A broom closet.”
“What do you call an Irishman hanging from the ceiling?”/“Sean D’Olier.”
“What do you call an Irishman who won’t stop bouncing off the walls?”/“Rick O’Shea.”
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