A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006.

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Entry from January 28, 2018
“A dog walks into a telegram office…” (joke)

People don’t send telegrams anymore. However, a “dog walks into a telegram/telegraph office” joke has been popular since at least 1984.


Google Books
Jokes:
Outrageous bits, atrocious puns, and ridiculous routines for those who love jests

By Paul Dickson
New York, NY: Delacorte Press
1984
Pg. 106:
A dog walks into a telegraph office, takes out a blank form, and writes, “Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof.” The clerk looks at it and says, “There are only nine words here; you could send another woof for the same price.”

“But,” the dog replies, “that would be silly.”

Google Groups: rec.humor
Dawgs and Communications
Road Dawg
1/8/91
Bear Dawg and Andy Dawg walked into the local telegraph office and Bear pawed the clerk money and a piece of paper with ‘woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof’ on it. The clerk took the dog’s money, and read the paper the dog had pawed to him.

“Wait,” the clerk said. “You’ve got only nine ‘woofs’ here. You can send ten for the same price.”

“That won’t be necessary,” Bear Dawg answered.

On the way out the door, Bear Dawg saw a clerk’s assistant eating a doughnut and drinking a Miller Genuine Draft (tm) in a bottle. Pointing out the assistant to Andy Dawg, Bear said, “boy, I wish I could do that!”

“Well,” replied Andy. “You had better wimper and wag to him first!”
(...)
First half attributed to Play Boy, second is original.

Google Groups: alt.appalachian
Another Joke for today
SBCmusic
6/26/01
The Telegram
A German Shepherd went to a Western Union telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote: “Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof.”

The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog, “There are only nine words here. You could send another “Woof” for the same price.”

“But,” the dog replied, “That would make no sense at all.”

8 April 2002, The Record (Kitchener, ON), “Give Us This Day,” pg. A2:
A German Shepherd went to a Western Union telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote: “Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof.”

The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog, “There are only nine words here. You could send another Woof for the same price.”

“But,” the dog replied, “that would make no sense at all.”

Google Groups: uk.rec.humour
telegram
marvin
12/23/02
A dog goes into a telegram office and grabs a pen and a form and writes - “woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof.” and hands it to the man a the counter.

The man says “It’s ten words for two pounds - you can add another ‘woof’ for free!

The dog thinks, looks at the man and says “But that would be stupid!”

Google Books
Ultimate Book of Jokes:
The Essential Collection of More Than 1,500 Jokes

By Scott McNeely
San Francisco, CA: Chronicle Books
2011
Pg. 339:
A dog walked into a telegram office, took out a blank form, and wrote: Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof.

The clerk examined the paper and told the dog: “There are only seven words here. You could send another ‘Woof’ for the same price.”

The dog replied, “But that would make no sense at all.” ...

NPR
What Is The Funniest Joke In The World?
March 7, 2014 11:46 AM ET
ALVA NOË
(...)
Whereas Europeans, it is claimed, go for the absurd or surreal:

A German Shepherd went to the telegram office, took out a blank form, and wrote: “Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof.”

The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog: “There are only nine words here. You could send another ‘Woof’ for the same price.”

“But,” the dog replied, “that would make no sense at all.


New York (NY) Times
Woof. Woof. And Other Notes From the Dog Show.
By SARAH LYALL FEB. 18, 2016
(...)
I kept thinking about my favorite dog joke. It begins with a dog walking into a telegram office.

(It takes place in the old days, when people sent telegrams.)

Dog: “I’d like to send a telegram. The message is, ‘Woof woof woof. Woof woof, woof woof, woof woof woof woof.’”

Clerk: “Sir, for the same price, you can add two more woofs.”

Dog: “But then it wouldn’t make any sense.”

Reddit—Jokes
A dog went to a telegram office
submitted January 28, 2018 by TakeItEasyPolicy
and wrote: “Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof.”

The clerk examined the paper and told the dog: “There are only nine words here. You could send another ‘Woof’ for the same price.”

“But,” the dog replied, “that would make no sense at all.”

Posted by Barry Popik
New York CityMedia/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet • Sunday, January 28, 2018 • Permalink