Some people who run a dash, according to a joke, can’t make it all the way. “I am proud to announce that I beat my personal best in the 100 meter dash. I made it 65 meters” was posted on Twitter on July 24, 2012. “I just got a new personal best in the 100 yard dash! 73 yards!” was posted on Twitter on February 23, 2018.
“Achieved a new personal best in the 100 yard dash today—43 yards” was posted on Reddit—Oneliners on March 12, 2018.
Twitter
St. God, bitches
@cocainenosejob1
Replying to @mepatterson
@mepatterson I am proud to announce that I beat my personal best in the 100 meter dash. I made it 65 meters
10:56 AM - 24 Jul 2012
Twitter
Danny Stacy
@poppie1156
I just got a new personal best in the 100 yard dash! 73 yards!
10:29 AM - 23 Feb 2018
Reddit—Oneliners
Achieved a new personal best in the 100 yard dash today—43 yards.
submitted March 12, 2018 by teams32
Twitter
JokeFarm
@_JokeFarm
Achieved a new personal best in the 100 yard dash today—43 yards. #joke #jokes
10:48 PM - 12 Mar 2018
Twitter
Roberto Ferdenzi Ⓜ️ 🇮🇹
@RobertoFerdenzi
I achieved a new personal best in the 100 yards dash, today........45 yards. 😰
5:30 PM - 13 Mar 2018
Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006. Now a Popeyes fast food restaurant on Google Maps.
Recent entries:
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“I will be back on my feet just as soon as the coffee reaches life supporting levels” (3/25)
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“If laziness was on the Olympic games, I would rank 4th so I wouldn’t have to climb the winners’…” (3/25)
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“I will be back on my feet once the coffee reaches life supporting levels” (3/25)
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“I’ll be back on my feet once the coffee reaches life supporting levels” (3/25)
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“If laziness was an Olympic sport, I’d probably come in 4th so that I wouldn’t need to walk up…” (3/25)
More new entries...
Above, Big Apple Corner at 54th Street and Broadway in Manhattan. Google Maps.
Above, John J. Fitz Gerald, from the Aug. 15, 1931, Binghamton (NY) Press, pg. 14.
Listen to Robert Emmerich introduce "The Big Apple," a hit song from 1937. Music written by Bob and performed by Tommy Dorsey's Clambake Seven with Bob on piano. Lyrics written by Buddy Bernier and sung by Edythe Wright. Audio provided by Dorothy Emmerich.
Also listen to a 1937 "The Big Apple" song by Ozzie Nelson and his Orchestra. See a 1929 photo of John J. Fitz Gerald and a 1931 photo of John J. Fitz Gerald.
This site is edited by Barry Popik.