“Bought a chicken to make sandwiches. It doesn’t. It shits on the floor” is a jocular saying (with several slight variations) that has been printed on many images. It’s at first assumed that the chicken was bought to be in the sandwiches, but then it’s revealed that the chicken was bought to make the sandwiches.
 
“Just bought a chicken to make sandwiches the little shites useless its just running around the kitchen clucking” was posted on Twitter by guy mcmullan on January 23, 2012. “I just bought a chicken to make some sandwiches.. But he’s not doing a very good job, keeps running around the kitchen! #cluckcluck #boom” was posted on Twitter by Pig on January 23, 2012. “@sickipediabot: bought a chicken to make sandwiches… Don’t think he’s up to it, he’s runnin round the kitchen clucking like a cunt” was posted on Twitter by lynstrum on January 25, 2012.
 
“Bought a chicken to make sandwiches. It doesn’t, it shits on the floor” was posted on Twitter by Vincent Wight on April 13, 2020. “Bought a chicken today to make sandwiches. It doesn’t. Just shits all over the floor” was posted on Twitter by Dean Bear on April 14, 2020. “Bought a chicken to make sandwiches, it doesn’t, it just shits all over the floor!” was posted on iFunny on April 17, 2020. “Bought a chicken to make sandwiches. It doesn’t. It poops on the floor” was posted on iFunny on April 23, 2020.
 
“You’re telling me a chicken fried this rice?” is a somewhat related chicken joke.
     
Similar jokes include “I bought an alcoholic ginger beer. He wasn’t happy about it,” ““I made a chicken salad today. Cheeky bastard didn’t even eat it,” “I made some fish tacos last night. But they just ignored them and swam away,” “I made some jerk chicken today. He didn’t even say ‘thank you’!” and “Last night I made a lamb curry, but apparently they prefer grass.”
         
 
Twitter
guy mcmullan
@guyefc
Just bought a chicken to make sandwiches the little shites useless its just running around the kitchen clucking
5:43 PM · Jan 23, 2012
     
Twitter
Pig
@DegeneratePig
I just bought a chicken to make some sandwiches.. But he’s not doing a very good job, keeps running around the kitchen! #cluckcluck #boom
6:47 PM · Jan 23, 2012
 
Twitter
Katie Edwards
@Mo99i3
“@sickipediabot: bought a chicken to make sandwiches…
Don’t think he’s up to it, he’s runnin round the kitchen clucking like a cunt.”
6:55 PM · Jan 23, 2012
   
Twitter 
lynstrum
@lynstrum
: I bought a chicken to make some sandwiches.. I don’t think it’s up to it, it’s just running round the kitchen clucking!”
@TowisChicken
5:20 PM · Jan 25, 2012
 
Twitter
Harry Casson
@harrycasson
i bought some chicken to make sandwiches, but i don’t think he’s up to it. he’s just running round the kitchen clucking like a twat.
10:04 AM · Feb 4, 2012
         
Twitter
Annie
@AnnieWanKenobi
I bought a chicken to make some sandwiches with today. But he’s working to slow & there’s feathers everywhere.
7:58 AM · Feb 5, 2012
 
Twitter
lee harris
@leeharris3268
Just bought a chicken to make some sandwiches the cunts useless he just runs round clucking like fuck
2:50 AM · Feb 6, 2014
 
Twitter 
Dimitri - Bar 360
@Bar360Kefalonia
#kefalonia I bought a chicken to make some sandwiches.
A complete waste of time. All it does is run round the kitchen making clucking noises
3:20 PM · Apr 3, 2017 from Leivathou, Greece
 
Twitter
Alice Mills
@millsalice144
I bought a chicken to make sandwiches. I don’t know why I bothered. It just runs around the kitchen clucking and pecking at things.
6:22 PM · Apr 5, 2020
   
Twitter
Sheckley🧯
@Lunatic_Inc
I bought a chicken to make sandwiches.
It was a complete waste of time.
All it does is running around the kitchen clucking.
1:00 AM · Apr 6, 2020
   
Twitter
Tony Higginson
@AJHigginson
I bought a chicken to make sandwiches…
all it does is run round the kitchen making clucking noises.
4:59 AM · Apr 6, 2020
   
Twitter
Vincent Wight
@BridgewaterTKD
Bought a chicken to make sandwiches.
It doesn’t,
it shits on the floor.
9:15 PM · Apr 13, 2020
 
Twitter
Dean Bear
@DaBear67
Bought a chicken today to make sandwiches. 
It doesn’t. 
Just shits all over the floor.
9:58 PM · Apr 14, 2020
 
iFunny
SpinnerVision
17 apr 2020
Bought a chicken to make sandwiches, it doesn’t, it just shits all over the floor!
           
Twitter
3AM
@3AM_Jokes
I bought a chicken to make sandwiches… It doesnt, it just shits on the floor
3:18 AM · Apr 22, 2020
     
iFunny
KenDrake5150_2020
23 apr 2020
Bought a chicken to make sandwiches. It doesn’t. It poops on the floor.
 
Reddit—Dadjokes
Posted by u/andersonfmly April 24, 2020
I bought a chicken to make sandwiches…
It doesn’t. It poops on my floor.
   
Reddit—Jokes
Posted by u/figarojew May 2, 2020
I bought a chicken to make sandwiches…
Turns out it doesn’t, it just make a lot of noise and poops on the floor.
COMMENTS
Gone_For_Lunch
That joke was fowl.
 
America’s Best Pics & Videos
terriblefacebook2_2020
15 may 2020
Bought a chicken to make sandwiches. It doesn’t. It shits on the floor.
     
iFunny
God_Bless
16 sep 2020
Bought a chicken to make sandwiches. It doesn’t. It shits on the floor.
 
America’s Best Pic & Videos
unbelievableandludicrus_2020
21 feb 2021
Bought a chicken to make sandwiches. It doesn’t. It shits on the floor.
     
iFunny   
SlanderAndCalumny
11 apr 2021
Bought a chicken to make sandwiches. It doesn’t. It shits on the floor.
   
America’s Best Pics & Videos 
oldguysdr1nk1ngbeer
29 sep 2021
I bought a chicken to make some Sandwiches… It doesn’t, it just shits on the floor
 
America’s Best Pics & Videos   
mac10_2021
6 jan 2022
Bought a chicken to make sandwiches. It doesn’t. It shits on the floor.
 
Reddit—Jokes
Posted by u/Soakitincider January 15, 2022
Bought chicken to make sandwiches.
It doesn’t. Just shits on the floor.
 
Reddit—Jokes
Posted by u/LakeMIBeachbum September 30, 2022
I bought a chicken to make sandwiches.
It doesn’t. It shits on the floor, after it crosses the road.
 
Reddit—Dadjokes
Posted by u/BreakApprehensive489 January 1, 2023
I bought a chicken to make sandwiches
But all it does is strut around and crap on the floor
 
Twitter
🇺🇲🥓Patriotic Bacon🇺🇲🥓
@Sassychickie
I bought a chicken to make sandwiches.
It doesn’t.
It just shits on the floor.😵‍💫
1:42 PM · Apr 28, 2023
 
Twitter
Bob Kostic
@causticbob
I bought a chicken today to make sandwiches.
That didn’t work out like I hoped. It just runs around the kitchen making noises.
5:39 PM · May 7, 2023