"Cancel my subscription—I don’t need your issues” is a jocular saying that has been printed on many gift items, such as T-shirts, posters and bumper stickers. The saying takes a magazine subscription response and makes it into a relationship one-liner.

“CANCEL MY SUBSCRIPTION - I DON’T NEED YOUR ISSUES” was cited in August 2002, when the saying was observed on a T-shirt.

“Damn girl, are you a newspaper? Because there’s a new issue with you every day” is a similar saying.


Google Groups: alt.wisdom
Cute t-shirt
KBraman1
8/10/02
Saw a teenager in the mall today with a cute t-shirt -
CANCEL MY SUBSCRIPTION - I DON’T NEED YOUR ISSUES

Kathy

Google Groups: bit.listserv.techwr-l
Signs, signs, everywhere there’s signs....
“Diane Evans”
10/4/02
(...)
I recently saw two t-shirts that I loved as well.  Unfortunately, they were on someone else’s body at the time:

“Cancel my subscription.  I don’t need your issues.”
“Stupidity takes its toll.  Please use exact change.”

4 August 2003, Washington (DC) Post, “The Funniest T-Shirts of 2003: Part One” by Bob Levey, Style, pg. C11:
“Cancel My Subscription—I Don’t Need Your Issues”—Paula Bentley of Surry, Va.

Fierce Fatties
Cancel my subscription; I don’t need your issues!
July 7, 2011
by joannadeadwinter
I saw that on a bumper sticker.

Google Books
Damage Control:
How to Tiptoe Away from the Smoking Wreckage of Your Latest Screw-up with a Minimum of Harm to Your Reputation
By David Eddie with Pat Lynch
Toronto: McClelland & Stewart
2011, ©2010
Pg. 62:
I really care about my ex “boyfriend,” since I secretly think that’s what he really was, but I’ve lost interest in him, romantically. What should I say to him?
Pg. 63:
THE ANSWER
“Cancel my subscription, I don’t need your issues.”