Many churches have stained windows. “I was a rubbish church window cleaner. I got rid of all the stains” was printed in The Biggest Ever Tim Vine Joke Book (2010) by English writer, actor, comedian and presenter Tim Vine.
“Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a church window cleaner” was posted on Twitter by David Clarke (and others) on January 11, 2012, and on Reddit—Oneliners on August 7, 2012.
Wikipedia: Tim Vine
Timothy Mark Vine (born 4 March 1967) is an English writer, actor, comedian and presenter, known for his one-liner jokes, and his role on Not Going Out from 2006 to 2014. He has released a number of DVDs of his stand-up comedy and has written several joke books. In 2010 and 2014, Vine won the award for best joke at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe.
Google Books
The Biggest Ever Tim Vine Joke Book
By Tim Vine
London, UK: Century
2010
Pg. 44:
I was a rubbish church window cleaner. I got rid of all the stains.
Twitter
Jono
@Jonos_Music
My mate got the sack from being a Church window cleaner….He kept wiping out all the stains…...
11:23 AM · Dec 6, 2011·Twitter Web Client
Twitter
Kelvin Farmaner
@InsuranceLitSol
I was a rubbish church window cleaner. I got rid of all the stains. #JanuaryJokes
4:10 AM · Jan 11, 2012·Hootsuite
Twitter
Alan Tabbner
@utterutterbolox
Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a Church window cleaner.
9:04 AM · Jan 11, 2012·Twitter for iPhone
Twitter
David Clarke
@PunSl1nger
Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a Church window cleaner.
9:35 AM · Jan 11, 2012·Twitter for iPhone
Twitter
Simon Hazeldine
@SimonHazeldine
Joke of the day “I was a rubbish church window cleaner. I got rid of all the stains!” - Tim Vine
2:45 AM · May 17, 2016·Twitter Web Client
Reddit—Oneliners
Posted by u/VERBERD August 7, 2020
Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a Church window cleaner.
Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006. Now a Popeyes fast food restaurant on Google Maps.
Recent entries:
•“Welcome to growing older. Where all the foods and drinks you’ve loved for years suddenly seem determined to destroy you” (4/17)
•“Date someone who drinks with you instead of complaining that you drink” (4/17)
•“Definition of stupid: Knowing the truth, seeing evidence of the truth, but still believing the lie” (4/17)
•“Definition of stupid: Knowing the truth, seeing the evidence of the truth, but still believing the lie” (4/17)
•“Government creates the crises so it can ‘rescue’ you with the loss of freedom” (4/17)
More new entries...
Above, Big Apple Corner at 54th Street and Broadway in Manhattan. Google Maps. Stolen and missing, 2021-2024.
Above, John J. Fitz Gerald, from the Aug. 15, 1931, Binghamton (NY) Press, pg. 14.
Listen to Robert Emmerich introduce "The Big Apple," a hit song from 1937. Music written by Bob and performed by Tommy Dorsey's Clambake Seven with Bob on piano. Lyrics written by Buddy Bernier and sung by Edythe Wright. Audio provided by Dorothy Emmerich.
Also listen to a 1937 "The Big Apple" song by Ozzie Nelson and his Orchestra. See a 1929 photo of John J. Fitz Gerald and a 1931 photo of John J. Fitz Gerald.
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