Mathematicians solve problems with a pencil and paper. A popular joke is:
“Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil.”
The joke has been cited in print since at least 1992. It’s frequently added that the constipated mathematician used a “number two” pencil.
Google Groups: rec.humor
constipated Mathematician
Jay Todd Irwin
1/6/92
Did you hear about the constipated Mathematician??
He worked it out with a pencil.
Google Books
Vampire’s Kiss
By William Hill
New York, NY: Windsor Publishing Company
1994
Pg. 211:
It would all work its way out in the end, like the constipated mathematician and his pencil.
Google Groups: alt.tasteless.jokes
That constipated mathematician…
.(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)
1/8/94
...“worked it out with his slide-rule” in _my_ day. The modern equivalent would be ...“worked it out with his calculator”, which conjures images too fierce to imagine. So I guess it’s back to “paper and pencil”, as posted earlier. Doesn’t have the same “ring” to it, though.
26 February 2000, The Guardian (UK), Weekend, pg. 70, col. 5:
TELL US A JOKE…
Susan Waltham, Brightlingsea, Essex
‘Q: What did the constipated mathematician do?
A: Work it out with a pencil.’
Google Books
Monologues for Show-Offs
By Donna Daley and Julie Halston
Portsmouth, NH: Heinemann
2008
Pg. 114:
What did the constipated mathematician do? He worked it out with a pencil. Sorry. Do you think he used a number two pencil? Sorry. Sorry if I went off on a tangent.
Twitter
Duncan Robertson
@whomwah
Did you hear about the constipated mathematician that worked it out with a pencil?
7:42 AM - 12 Aug 2008
24 August 2008, Washington (DC) Post, “Questioning Authority” by Gene Weingarten, pg. W32:
Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil!
Twitter
jarredpoor
@jarredpoor
Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil, it was a number 2
9:20 AM - 14 Jul 2012
reddit
Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? (self.Jokes)
submitted May 7, 2013 by N8_erade
He worked it out with a pencil.
YouTube
Math Jokes Explained - Numberphile
Numberphile
Published on May 20, 2013
Some of your favourite maths jokes are dissected in forensic fashion.
6:28
“Did you hear the one about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil?”
Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006. Now a Popeyes fast food restaurant on Google Maps.
Recent entries:
•“Welcome to growing older. Where all the foods and drinks you’ve loved for years suddenly seem determined to destroy you” (4/17)
•“Date someone who drinks with you instead of complaining that you drink” (4/17)
•“Definition of stupid: Knowing the truth, seeing evidence of the truth, but still believing the lie” (4/17)
•“Definition of stupid: Knowing the truth, seeing the evidence of the truth, but still believing the lie” (4/17)
•“Government creates the crises so it can ‘rescue’ you with the loss of freedom” (4/17)
More new entries...
Above, Big Apple Corner at 54th Street and Broadway in Manhattan. Google Maps. Stolen and missing, 2021-2024.
Above, John J. Fitz Gerald, from the Aug. 15, 1931, Binghamton (NY) Press, pg. 14.
Listen to Robert Emmerich introduce "The Big Apple," a hit song from 1937. Music written by Bob and performed by Tommy Dorsey's Clambake Seven with Bob on piano. Lyrics written by Buddy Bernier and sung by Edythe Wright. Audio provided by Dorothy Emmerich.
Also listen to a 1937 "The Big Apple" song by Ozzie Nelson and his Orchestra. See a 1929 photo of John J. Fitz Gerald and a 1931 photo of John J. Fitz Gerald.
This site is edited by Barry Popik. These are the Cookies and Privacy Policies.