A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006.

Recent entries:
“I have ice in my veins” (cool under pressure) (1/18)
Staten Island Pizza Rats (Staten Island Yankees nickname) (1/18)
Pizza Rat (1/18)
“That’s yacht racing” (1/18)
Thai Iced Tea (Cha Yen) (1/18)
More new entries...

A  B  C  D  E  F  G  H  I  J  K  L  M  N  O  P  Q  R  S  T  U  V  W  X  Y  Z


Entry from June 16, 2018
“Doctor, why do I toot like a motorcycle?"/"Because abscess makes the fart go Honda.”

“Absence makes the heart grow fonder” is an old proverb. A shortened version of a parody is:

Patient: Doctor, why do I toot like a motorcycle?
Doctor: Because abscess makes the fart go Honda.


The joke was posted on the newsgroup net.jokes on May 3, 1984. 

“Absinthe makes the fart grow stronger,” “Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder” and “Abstinence makes the church grow fondlers” are other variations on the proverb.


Google Groups: net.jokes
MOS-FETE (Moral Of the Story = ?)
sequ...@uwvax.arpa
5/3/84
There was this guy who was making it real BIG in life when an affliction that was, to say the least, embarrassing, struck him. Everytime he was at an important meeting, or at a party, or whatever, he would let out one of those *real loud* farts, the sound of which could most closely be described by the sound that’s made by those mobikes (Honda types) make. He went from doctor to doctor, but somehow couldn’t get rid of the ailment. Finally, decided to take a trip to the Alps where he met this medic, who was world-renowned (at least he was known on Kriek St, if I remember right) The guy took on look at the general’s internal’s and found out that the guy’s intestines were full of abscesses, ulcers, the works! Got into it and cleansed him of those ugly monstrosities - net result : the general stopped farting…

Moral Of Story = ?
Ans:  Abscess makes the fart go Honda…

Google Books
1,001 Great Jokes
By Jeff Rovin
New York, NY: New American Library
1987
Pg. 138:
At once the man’s problem was solved. “That’s amazing!” said the patient. “But tell me, how did you know what to do?” “Simple,” answered the doctor. “Everyone knows that abscess makes the fart go ‘honda.’”

Google Groups: alt.humor.puns
More puns
Steve Poggio
11/7/94
(...)
A man had a weird illness. Whenever he broke wind, it made the sound “honda”. He asked his doctor about it but the doctor after months of tests and literature-reading, could not figure it out. Finally, just before he was about to give up, he had an idea.

I’ll call Honda Company in Japan and ask the company doctor! Well, he called the Japanese doctor and was told by him to see if the patient had an abscess in his teeth somewhere. Sure enough, there was, and when it was treated the other affliction ended!

When the doctor asked his Japanese counterpart how he could make such a great diagnosis over the phone from such a long distance away the man replied, simple:

Abscess makes a fart go honda!!!

5 April 2003, Manawatu Standard (Palmerston North, New Zealand), “Kavanagh’s Rant” by Don Kavanagh, pg. 6: 
In an odd postscript, I was overcome with the most appalling flatulence until the abscess itself cleared up. Not only was it loud and embarrassing, it made the most curious sound, a kind of revving ‘honnnndaaa.’

My dismay was finally dispelled by a kindly uncle, who took me to one side and explained the problem.

‘Y’see, lad, it was all to do with yer tooth. Everyone knows abscess makes the fart go Honda.’

21 July 2005, The Daily Post (Rotorua, New Zealand), “Don’t get strung up over this bird” by L. S. Carr, pg. E19:
The man was at a loss to understand how this would help but he was desperate and terrified about insulting the Toyota people in more ways than one.

Sure enough the dentist discovered the problem - an abscess.

“But how could an abscess be causing my problem?” the man asked.

“Easy,” said the dentist, “everybody knows that abscess makes the fart go Honda.”

Twitter
M Donaldson →
@qburns
auto problems forcing me into a new car ... may get one referenced in punchline of bad English joke : “an abscess makes the fart go Honda”
6:47 PM - 22 Jul 2008

Reddit—Jokes
The Chinese Dentist
submitted January 15, 2013 by vladthecossack
One day a man is sitting at home and feels like he needs to fart, but as he does so, he hears “honda” come out instead. He is completely taken aback and thinks he must have imagined it. But later, as he farts again, it sounds like “honda”.
(...)
“That’s amazing!” he says. “How did you know the problem was my tooth?”

“Very simple, how you not know?” replies the dentist. “Everybody know abscess makes the fart go honda!”

Reddit—3amjokes
Man: Doctor, I have this embarrassing problem. My farts sound like a motorbike. self.3amjokes
Submitted June 16, 2018 by porichoygupto
Doctor: You have an abscess.
Man: How do you know?
Doctor: Because abscess makes a fart go Honda.

Posted by Barry Popik
New York CityTransportation • Saturday, June 16, 2018 • Permalink