A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006. Now a Popeyes fast food restaurant on Google Maps.

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“Thank you, ATM fees, for allowing me to buy my own money” (3/27)
“Anyone else boil the kettle twice? Just in case the boiling water has gone cold…” (3/27)
“Shout out to ATM fees for making me buy my own money” (3/27)
20-20-20 Rule (for eyes) (3/27)
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Entry from December 28, 2016
“Money’s short, times are hard. Here’s your fucking Christmas card”

“Money’s scarce/short/tight, times are hard. Here’s your fucking Christmas card” is a jocular saying that has been printed on many ecards. The card implies that no money will be included.
 
Authorship is unknown. The language varies slightly, with this earliest version from 1961:
   
Money is scarce.
And times is hard;
So this here is
Our Christmas card.

 
 
Old Fulton NY Post Cards
3 January 1961, Buffalo (NY) Courier-Express, “As I See It” by Jerry Evarts, pg. 33, col. 1:
HOMEMADE FUN: A novel Christmas greeting is among those received by Mr. Mrs. Harry M. Toni of 164 Adam Street, City of Tonawanda. The message, from Mrs. Toni’s sister, Mrs. William W. Roark of Ft. Worth, Tex., consists of a verse written on a piece of corrugated cardboard 6” long, 3 1/4” wide, and a sixteenth of an inch thick. The rhyme states:
 
Money is scarce.
And times is hard;
So this here is
Our Christmas card.
 
1 January 1967, Arkansas Democrat (Little Rock, AR), “North Side Beat: Spirit of Christmas Long, Cash Short” by Cliff McIntyre, pg. 6A, col. 1:
Among the piles of mail going through the North Little Rock Post Office one group of Christmas cards stood out.
 
The cards were simple square of cardboard cut from corrugated paper boxes. In bold letters was the following brief sentiment:
 
“Money’s tight, times are hard. Here’s your Christmas card.”
 
23 December 1980, Florida Today (Cocoa, FL), “Brevard After Dark” by George Carter, pg. 1D, col. 1:
B.A.D. received a note on a damp napkin which has been making the rounds:
 
Money’s tight
Times are hard
Here’s your lousy
Christmas Card
 
24 December 1981, Philadelphia (PA) Inquirer, “4,500 layoffs make for holiday of little cheer in Bucks Cunty” by John Woestendick, pg. A1, col. 4:
Money’s scarce,
Times are hard,
Here’s your—
Christmas card

   
Google Books
National Lampoon
Volume 2, Issues 42-53
1982
Pg. 98:
Seasons Greetings
Money’s Short
Times Are Hard
Here’s Your Fuckin’ Christmas Card.
 
Google Books
24 December 1984, New York magazine, pg. 34, col. 2: 
I’m sending out cards this holiday that say, “Money’s scarce / Times are hard / Here’s your f—-’ Christmas card.”
—MEADE ESPOSITO
 
Google Books
Holiday Hilarities:
A Collection of Holiday Humor

By Warren Dixon
Liberty, NC: Five Hawks Press
1998
Pg. 141:
“Money is tight,
“Times are hard,
“Here’s your——ed old Christmas card.”
   
Google Books
Ideas For Holidays, Celebrations and Parties:
Amazing Ideas For Everything

By Kirti Makhija
New Delhi: Educreation Publishing
2016
Pg. 49:
TOP 5 FUNNY BIRTHDAY WISHES
1. Money is tight, times are hard, here’s your frigging birthday card!

Posted by Barry Popik
New York CityHolidays/Events/Parades • Wednesday, December 28, 2016 • Permalink


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