What kind of food fights do cannibals have?
 
“Every fight is a food fight if you’re a cannibal” is a jocular one-liner from New York-born comedian Demetri Martin. Martin has used the joke in his act since at least 2006.
   
           
Wikipedia: Demetri Martin
Demetri Evan Martin (born May 25, 1973) is an American comedian, actor, artist, musician, writer, and humorist. He is best known for his work as a stand-up comedian, being a contributor on The Daily Show, and his Comedy Central show Important Things with Demetri Martin.
     
18 July 2006, The Gazette (Montreal, Quebec), “Daily star has an act, unlike his cohorts” by Bill Brownstein, pg. D1:
Well, delighted to report that the Daily Show’s Trendspotting correspondent, Demetri Martin, has just arrived at the Just for Laughs fest for its Flying Solo Series and, safe to say, he will leave no one wanting or feeling ripped off.
(...)
Another example: “Every fight is a food fight when you are a cannibal.”
   
11 November 2006, Edmonton (Alberta) Journal, “Quick hits (and misses)” by Tyler Morency, pg. C3:
Review: Demetri Martin is a comedic triple threat. While he can create a mighty stand-up joke, he also uses his pictures during his routines, in addition to playing some guitar. The young comedian is like Mitch Hedberg, Carrot Top and Adam Sandler rolled into one hilarious comic. These Are Jokes is his first CD and fortunately, Comedy Central included a DVD of Martin’s half-hour television special along with it. The DVD features some nifty animations Martin used to illustrate some of his longer jokes. Yet most of his stand- up jokes seem like tiny packages of wisdom: “Every fight is a food fight, if you are a cannibal.” Sure, it is Demetri.
 
Twitter
Matthew Delprado‏
@Kiel
Every fight is a food fight when you are a cannibal
3:43 PM - 8 Mar 2007
 
Twitter
pauladrum‏
@pauladrum
Replying to @Zappos
@zappos Every fight is a food fight when you’re a cannibal. - Demtri Martin
8:41 PM - 21 Apr 2008
   
Google Books
The Little Book of Humorous Quotes
Edited by Malcolm Kushner
The Little Quote Books (LittleQuoteBooks.com)
2011
Pg. 75:
Every fight is a food fight when you’re a cannibal. ~Demetri Martin
 
Twitter
Comedian’s Jokes‏
@ComediansJokes
“Every fight is a food fight when you’re a cannibal.” - Demetri Martin
11:45 AM - 29 Aug 2013
   
Google Books
Getting the Joke:
The Inner Workings of Stand-Up Comedy
By Oliver Double
London, UK: Bloomsbury
2014
Pg. 90:
Demetri Martin’s one-liners have the blend of silliness, cleverness and absurdity that could put him in the same bracket as deadpan surrealists like Steven Wright and Milton Jones. Typical examples include:
(...)
Every fight is a food fight – when you’re a cannibal. [laughter]
 
Reddit—Shower Thoughts
Every fight is a food fight for a cannibal
submitted December 18, 2017 by b_rock957