There are many time travel jokes. “MATT KING on THE STAND-UP SHOW: ‘I bought a second-hand time machine about three weeks from now. It was useless, it broke down tomorrow’” is a time travel joke that was printed in The Sun (London, UK) on December 27, 2000. “I bought a second-hand time machine from a bloke down the pub. Sure enough, it broke down next Monday” was printed in the Daily Record (Glasgow, Scotland) on January 23, 2001.
“I bought a second hand time machine next Tuesday. They don’t make them like they’re going to anymore. http://bit.ly/1GF3Vc7 via @sickipedia” was posted on Twitter on May 27, 2015.
27 December 2000, The Sun (London, UK), “Walford gives Corrie a Christmas stuffing” by Garry BUshell, pg. 11:
MATT KING on THE STAND-UP SHOW: “I bought a second-hand time machine about three weeks from now. It was useless, it broke down tomorrow.”
23 January 2001, Daily Record (Glasgow, Scotland), “Football: TAM COWAN: Parental Guidance Recommended,” pg. 43:
I bought a second-hand time machine from a bloke down the pub. Sure enough, it broke down next Monday.
Twitter
Mark Summers
@markysumm
I bought a second hand time machine today. It’s only got 9000 years on the clock.
9:55 AM - 30 Aug 2013
Twitter
Fresh Stand Up
@FreshStandUp
I bought a second hand time machine next Tuesday. They don’t make them like they’re going to anymore. http://bit.ly/1GF3Vc7 via @sickipedia
9:34 PM - 27 May 2015
Twitter
Sickipedia Official
@sickipedia
I bought a second hand time machine next Tuesday. They don’t make them like they’re going to anymore. http://bit.ly/1RrcH0t
4:15 PM - 28 May 2015
Reddit—Jokes
Time Machine
submitted June 2, 2015 by trigger_m
I bought a second hand time machine next Tuesday. They don’t make them like they’re going to anymore.
Reddit—Jokes
I bought a time machine.
submitted October 16, 2016 by Dj_Deadpool
I bought a second hand time machine next Tuesday. They don’t make them like they’re going to anymore.
Twitter
Bob Kostic
@causticbob
I bought a second hand Time Machine next Tuesday.
They don’t make them like they are going to anymore.
5:53 PM - 30 Mar 2017
Reddit—Jokes
I bought a second hand time machine next Tuesday.
submitted April 9, 2017 by tampared
They don’t make them like they’re going to anymore.
Reddit—Cleanjokes
I bought a second hand time machine next Tuesday… (self.cleanjokes)
submitted June 4, 2018 by madazzahatter
They don’t make them like they’re going to anymore…
Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006. Now a Popeyes fast food restaurant on Google Maps.
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Above, Big Apple Corner at 54th Street and Broadway in Manhattan. Google Maps.
Above, John J. Fitz Gerald, from the Aug. 15, 1931, Binghamton (NY) Press, pg. 14.
Listen to Robert Emmerich introduce "The Big Apple," a hit song from 1937. Music written by Bob and performed by Tommy Dorsey's Clambake Seven with Bob on piano. Lyrics written by Buddy Bernier and sung by Edythe Wright. Audio provided by Dorothy Emmerich.
Also listen to a 1937 "The Big Apple" song by Ozzie Nelson and his Orchestra. See a 1929 photo of John J. Fitz Gerald and a 1931 photo of John J. Fitz Gerald.
This site is edited by Barry Popik.