“Criticizing” shouldn’t be confused with “critter sizing,” but there are jokes. “I am just critter sizing!” was printed in the Lyons (KS) Daily News on November 13, 1917. “Critter sizing” puns have been printed on several images.
 
“Got in trouble at the zoo where I work for lining all the squirrels up in order of height… They don’t like me critter sizing” was posted on Twitter by sickipediabot by September 18, 2012. The joke probably originated on the Sickipedia website.
 
“Zoo” is sometimes replaced by “park” in the joke. “I got in trouble at the local park for lining all the squirrels up in order of height, they didn’t like me critter sizing” was posted on Twitter by Steve Clarke - Motivational Business Speaker on October 5, 2012. “I got thrown out of my local park after arranging the squirrels by height. They didn’t like me critter sizing” was posted on Reddit—Dadjokes on January 20, 2020.
 
 
Newspapers.com
13 November 1917, Lyons (KS) Daily News, “Local News-Notes,” pg. 1, col. 1:
“If you are going to find fault with my cow, you can get off of my farm!” said one irate farmer to another. “I ain’t findin’ fault with the cow,” said the other, “I am just critter sizing!” 
 
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Still Have my boat for sale
John Craker
3/30/05
Maybe he was measuring small animals…  oh, wait…  that’d be critter sizing.
       
Twitter
Sherry E Showalter
@DrSES
Opinions vs. Criticizing (Critter-sizing) hahaha http://drses.blogspot.com/2010/06/opinions-vs-criticizing-critter-sizing.html?spref=tw
9:10 AM · Jun 8, 2010·Twitter Web Client
     
Twitter
Stephanie
@SMG0014
J: “I’m not criticizing—I’m critter sizing! Look at the size of that squirrel! That’s a size 7 squirrel!”
9:51 PM · Jul 28, 2010·ÜberSocialOrig
 
Twitter
UberLaughs
@UberLaughs
#UberLaughs Got in trouble at the zoo where I work for lining all the squirrels up in order of height…
They don’t like me critter sizing.
11:38 AM · Sep 18, 2012·IFTTT
   
Twitter
sickipediabot
@sickipediabot
Got in trouble at the zoo where I work for lining all the squirrels up in order of height…
They don’t like me critter sizing.
12:55 PM · Sep 18, 2012·sickipediabot
 
Twitter
Bob Kostic
@causticbob
Got in trouble at the zoo where I work for lining all the squirrels up in order of height…
They don’t like me critter sizing.
1:15 PM · Sep 18, 2012·Twitter Web Client
   
Twitter
Steve Clarke - Motivational Business Speaker
@SpeakerSteveC
I got in trouble at the local park for lining all the squirrels up in order of height, they didn’t like me critter sizing.
9:07 AM · Oct 5, 2012·Hootsuite
 
Twitter   
Blair Garner
@blairgarner
I got in trouble at the local park for lining all the squirrels up in order of height.  They didn’t like me critter sizing.
9:40 PM · Nov 29, 2012·Crowdbooster
         
Twitter
Bob Kostic
@causticbob
Got in trouble at the zoo where I work for lining all the squirrels up in order of height…
They don’t like me critter sizing.
5:29 PM · Sep 19, 2016·Twitter Web Client
 
Twitter
🤣 The Dad Joke Man 😉
@DadJokeMan
I got in trouble at the local park for lining all the squirrels up in order of height,
they didn’t like me critter sizing…. 🤔
2:55 PM · Dec 27, 2017·Twitter for iPhone
 
Twitter
Bob Kostic
@causticbob
Got in trouble at the zoo where I work for lining all the squirrels up in order of height…
They don’t like me critter sizing.
1:29 PM · Mar 29, 2018·Twitter Web Client
 
Twitter
🤣 The Dad Joke Man 😉
@DadJokeMan
I got in trouble at the local park for lining all the squirrels up in order of height, they didn’t like me critter sizing…
#SundayMorning
2:45 AM · Dec 15, 2019·Twitter for iPhone
   
Twitter
Kevin Shanks
@forensictoxguy
Hey Twitter, I was just thrown out of my local park and banned for the rest of 2020 for lining up squirrels by their height.
The park rangers didn’t appreciate the critter-sizing.
3:30 PM · Jan 20, 2020·Twitter for iPhone
 
Reddit—Dadjokes
Posted by u/WhiskeyChugger January 20, 2020
I got thrown out of my local park after arranging the squirrels by height.
They didn’t like me critter sizing.