People often tell themselves, “My diet starts tomorrow,” but tomorrow never comes. “If I had a nickle for every time I said ‘The Diet Starts Tomorrow’, I’d have enough for liposuction” was posted on Twitter on December 12, 2011.
“If I had a quid for every time I said ‘diet starts tomorrow’, I’d have enough money for liposuction and the problem would have solved itself” was posted on Twitter on April 19, 2012. “If I had a penny for every time I said “diet starts tomorrow.’ I could afford liposuction” was posted on Reddit—Jokes on August 12, 2017
Twitter
Your Mom
@WillWerk4Shoes
if I had a nickle for every time I said “The Diet Starts Tomorrow”, I’d have enough for liposuction
7:52 PM - 12 Dec 2011
Twitter
Sherlock Stardust ✨
@Elton_J0hn
If I had a quid for every time I said ‘diet starts tomorrow’, I’d have enough money for liposuction and the problem would have solved itself
11:21 AM - 19 Apr 2012 from Solihull, England
Twitter
Raven Mackenzie
@ravenmackenzie
“@UnstableBitch: If I had a nickel for every time I’ve said, “my diet starts tomorrow”” I could afford lipo
7:23 PM - 8 Oct 2012
Twitter
Kerry O’Neill
@kerryoneill96
if i had a pound for every time i said ‘diet starts tomorrow’, id use the money to get lipo
1:08 PM - 4 Nov 2012
Twitter
ashlyn mcmanus
@AshlynMcManus
Me: Donuts?
Tess: Eh my diet starts tomorrow.
Me: If I had a nickel for every time I said that, I could afford liposuction
@TessWolvert1
9:23 PM - 25 Apr 2013
Twitter
Your Hero
@atheos96
Replying to @jennyXwho
@jennyXwho If I had $5 for every time I said “diet starts tomorrow” I could afford some surgical procedure to not need a diet.
4:08 AM - 2 Apr 2014
Reddit—Jokes
If I had a penny for every time I said “diet starts tomorrow”
submitted August 12, 2017 by Hadrianunlimited
I could afford liposuction.
Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006. Now a Popeyes fast food restaurant on Google Maps.
Recent entries:
•“I’m a better person when I’m tan and holding a margarita” (4/23)
•“You ARE a good driver. That curb DOESN’T belong there” (4/23)
•“‘It’s been a long week.’—Me, in the middle of Tuesday” (4/23)
•“Buying frozen pizza is such a lie. ‘Oh I’ll save this for when I don’t feel like cooking’. Surprise, surprise. Day one” (4/22)
•“Earth Day implies the existence of Moon Night” (4/22)
More new entries...
Above, Big Apple Corner at 54th Street and Broadway in Manhattan. Google Maps. Stolen and missing, 2021-2024.
Above, John J. Fitz Gerald, from the Aug. 15, 1931, Binghamton (NY) Press, pg. 14.
Listen to Robert Emmerich introduce "The Big Apple," a hit song from 1937. Music written by Bob and performed by Tommy Dorsey's Clambake Seven with Bob on piano. Lyrics written by Buddy Bernier and sung by Edythe Wright. Audio provided by Dorothy Emmerich.
Also listen to a 1937 "The Big Apple" song by Ozzie Nelson and his Orchestra. See a 1929 photo of John J. Fitz Gerald and a 1931 photo of John J. Fitz Gerald.
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