Texas is a large state. “You measure distances in hours out here, not miles” was printed in the Austin (TX) American-Statesman on July 7, 1996.

“You Know You’re From A Small Town in Texas When..... (...) You measure distance in hours” was posted on the newsgroup alt.autos.studebaker on October 8, 2000. “You know you’re from TEXAS if: 1. You measure distance in hours” was posted on the newsgroup alt.support.depression.recovery.sanctuary om January 24, 2002. “YOU MIGHT BE A TEXAN IF . . . 1. You measure distance in hours” was posted on the newsgroup alt.culture.military-brats on February 11, 2003. “If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Texas” was posted on the newsgroup adulthumor-l on September 7, 2007. The joke is in the style of American comedian Jeff Foxworthy, but there is no evidence that he said it.

“Texans measure distance in hours, not miles. #truefacts” was posted on Twitter by ACAB Housing for ALL o9n October 18, 2010. “Texans measure distance in hours not miles” was posted on Twitter by RealTexasRodeoQueen on March 15, 2014. “Texans measure distance in hours, not miles” was posted on Twitter by Texas Memes on September 17, 2021.

The saying is older in non-Texas versions. “It is our custom now to measure distance by hours and not by miles” was printed in the Boston (MA) Daily Evening Transcript on June 30, 1854. “They (people in Holland—ed.) measure distances by the hour, saying that from place to place it is ten hours’ walk, four hours by boat or two hours by rail” was printed in the Buffalo (NY) Weekly Courier on March 5, 1879.


Newspapers.com
30 June 1854, Boston (MA) Daily Evening Transcript, pg. 2, col. 1:
It is our custom now to measure distance by hours and not by miles.—It is worth while, therefore to know that the most majestic scenery of New England lies within a three days’ absence from the city.

Newspapers.com
5 March 1879, Buffalo (NY) Weekly Courier, pg. 8, col. 3:
They (people in Holland—ed.) measure distances by the hour, saying that from place to place it is ten hours’ walk, four hours by boat or two hours by rail.

Newspapers.com
7 July 1996, Austin (TX) American-Statesman, “West Texas wakes up to find city folks moving in” by Peter Szilagyi, pg. E12, col. 6:
“You measure distances in hours out here, not miles,” Donna Kruse said.

Google Groups: alt.autos.studebaker
OT-More Texas humor
tno...@juno.com
Oct 8, 2000, 8:30:43 PM
I’m from Iowa and know many of these could (and do) apply there as well!
SMALLTOWN, TX
You Know You’re From A Small Town in Texas When.....
(...)
You measure distance in hours.

Google Groups: alt.support.depression.recovery.sanctuary
Texas humor
Kevin Sanders
Jan 24, 2002, 1:42:11 PM
(...)
> >>> You know you’re from TEXAS if:
> >>> 1. You measure distance in hours.

Google Groups: alt.sex.stories
It’s a compliment! Really!
Katie McN
Apr 19, 2002, 11:16:47 PM
(...)
You measure distance in hours. (like Lubbock is 8 hours from Houston - who knows how many miles it is)

Google Groups: alt.culture.military-brats
Texans
Frank
Feb 11, 2003, 6:13:14 PM
YOU MIGHT BE A TEXAN IF . . .
1. You measure distance in hours.

Newspapers.com
15 October 2006, Charlotte (NC) Observer, “521-Mile Speeder’s Paradise” by Thayer Evans, pg. 14A, col. 2:
“You can now get places in a more legal fashion,” said Mike Mossman of Fort Hancock (Texas—ed.). “In Texas, we measure distances by hours rather than miles.”

Newspapers.com
5 September 2007, Odessa (TX) American, “Sometimes being a Texan carries some extra baggage” by Ken Broadnax, pg. 1B, col. 4:
He (Jeff Foxworthy—ed.) also points out that if you measure distance in hours, you’re probably a Texan.

Google Groups: adulthumor-l
[adulthumor-l] Texas
Morgoth
Sep 7, 2007, 7:32:58 AM
Here is what Jeff Foxworthy allegedly has to say about folks from Texas ..
(...)
If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Texas

Newspapers.com
9 September 2007, Odessa (TX) American, “William Tells” by Bill Salter, pg. 5E, col. 4:
ON A LIGHTER NOTE, there’s a “you might be a Texan if” joke that’s attributed to Jeff Foxworthy, the astute expert on “rednecks.”
(...)
“If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Texas.” (Odessans know about this.)

Twitter
Skelosh@Skelosh·Jan 2, 2009
Replying to @HeyNanny7
@heynanny7 A prof once told me people from other states measure distance in miles, but Texans measure distance in hours.

Google Books
Chicken Fried Crazy:
A Journal of Life in the South
By Polly Sue Dennis
Xlibris Corporation (Xlibris.com)
2009
Pg. 21:
Here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about folks from Texas…
(...)
If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Texas; ....

Twitter
Susan Turner
@SusanTurnerTex
If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Texas
10:55 PM · Aug 24, 2009·Twitter Web Client

Twitter
ACAB Housing for ALL
@IceBear_Bella
Texans measure distance in hours, not miles. #truefacts
2:10 AM · Oct 18, 2010·Twitter Web Client

Twitter
SolidSmack@SolidSmack·Dec 22, 2010
Replying to @wkfd
@wkfd “If you measure distance in hours instead of miles… you might be from Texas.” (no idea who said that)

Twitter
Ellison Hurt
@AIRoofing
You Know You’re From Texas If: You measure distance in hours. (like Lubbock is 8 hours from Houston - who knows how many miles it is?)
2:25 PM · Jul 23, 2011·Twitter Web Client

Twitter
Gillian Treta
@gilliantreta22
I’m pretty sure Texas is unique in the fact that everyone measures distance in hours rather than miles.
2:15 PM · Nov 4, 2012·Twitter for iPhone

Twitter
Zoë
@zoegemoets
You know you’re from Texas when: you measure distance in hours instead of miles.
2:51 PM · Mar 7, 2014·Twitter for iPhone

Twitter
RealTexasRodeoQueen
@reltxrodeoqueen
Texans measure distance in hours not miles.
9:30 PM · Mar 15, 2014·Twitter for iPhone

Twitter
Rick in Texas
@RdubHall
When you’re driving around #Texas, you measure distance in hours, not miles.
10:45 AM · May 10, 2014·Twitter Web Client

Twitter
random thoughts
@huntcentex
In Texas we measure distance in hours not miles
4:04 PM · Dec 18, 2014·Twitter for Android

Twitter
Eric Kennedy
@ericdkennedy
@GreatDismal As comedian Jeff Foxworthy says, “You might be in Texas if...you measure distance in hours instead of miles.” He nailed it.
11:38 PM · May 5, 2015·Twitter for iPad

Twitter
Ain’t Flexin’, just Texan
@TexasHumor
You might be from Texas if you measure distance in hours instead of miles.
11:15 AM · Nov 9, 2016·Buffer

Twitter
CCRV
@CCRVTexas
If you measure distance in hours not miles? You may live in #Texas!
7:30 PM · Apr 10, 2017·SocialOomph

Twitter
WilliamOliver11
@MrWilliamOliver
“How far you went doesn’t matter. What matters is how long you take.”
...This is why we Texans measure distance in hours not miles.
11:25 AM · May 6, 2017·Twitter for Android

Twitter
Jay Christian
@jaychris206
Spoken like a true West Texan who measures distance in hours not miles
Quote Tweet
Nancy Surber
@NancySurber2
· Dec 30, 2019
I still say, try a 5 hour one-way drive for a district game on a Tuesday night. One weekend...really?  twitter.com/Matt_Stepp817/…
9:11 PM · Dec 30, 2019·Twitter for Android

Twitter
Davontae
@davontae234a
One of the *very* few things LA and Texas have in common is that you measure distance in hours/minutes, not miles. “How far away are you?” “About an hour/two hours/etc.”
11:51 AM · Aug 15, 2021·Twitter for iPhone

Twitter
Texas Memes
@thetxmemes
Texans measure distance in hours, not miles.
8:57 PM · Sep 17, 2021·Twitter for iPhone