A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006.

Recent entries:
“The main function of the little toe is to make sure that all the furniture is in place” (2/25)
“Who called them ’surgical masks’ instead of ’coughy filters’?” (2/25)
“Janitors in skyscrapers are high maintenance” (2/25)
“You Matter. Unless you multiply yourself by the speed of light squared. Then you Energy.” (2/25)
Entry forthcoming (2/25)
More new entries...

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Entry from January 26, 2020
“I’ll have a café mocha vodka Valium latte to go, please”

"I’ll have a café mocha vodka Valium latte to go, please” is a jocular order (combining various popular daily infusions) that has been printed on many images. “I’ll have a cafe mocha vodka Valium latte to go, please!” was printed in the Asheville (NC) Citizen-Times on October 28, 2007. The order probably originated on an image.


Newspapers.com
28 October 2007, Asheville (NC) Citizen-Times, “With complete lack of stress, my dental hygienist recommended ‘the beds’” by Susan Reinhart, pg. G1, col. 1:
In the center sits a cup of steaming coffee with the caption, “I’ll have a cafe mocha vodka Valium latte to go, please!”

Every afternoon I read that napkin aloud for my co-workers, and without fail, we laugh, and stress bombs defuse.

Google Groups: alt.support.arthritis
Morning! Some news.
California Chief
10/8/08
(...)
... I’ll have a cafe, mocha, vodka, valium latte.....to go please.
___ Blue Wave/QWK v2.12

Twitter
Dawn Kuttig
@DawnGWTW
From the Potpurri catalog I got today: I’ll have a caffe mocha vodka valium latte to go, please! Will need 1 of those if we don’t win this!
9:15 PM · Oct 29, 2008·Twitter Web Client

Twitter
Kristin Schell
@kristinkschell
I’ll have a caffe mocha vodka valium latte to go, please! TGIF.
7:24 AM · Nov 7, 2008·Twitter Web Client

Google Books
Give the Bitch Her Chocolate
By Ed Polish and Darren Wotz
Berkeley, CA: Ten Speed Press
2009
Pg. ?:
I’ll have a Café-Mocha- Vodka-Valium-Latte to go, please

Google Books
Healing Sands
By Nancy N. Rue and Stephen Arterburn
Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson
2009
Pg. 152:
“I’ll have a café mocha vodka Valium latte, please,” she said to the bespectacled twentysomething male at the register.

Newspapers.com
15 March 2009, Hartford (CT) Courant, “Caption Contest—Last Week’s Winner,” pg. C4, col. 3:
Someone run to Starbucks for a mocha vodka valium latter—and hurry!
Norma J. Franklin, Glastonbury

Google Books
One Cup at a Time:
Finding Coffee, Love, and Happiness

By Debra-Lynn Bellefeuille
Victoria, BC: FriesenPress
2015
Pg. 43:
I’ll have a caffe mocha vodka valium latte to go please.

Twitter
TallMtnMan (aka Author Unknown)
@tallmtnman
Replying to @ChabbyD
Me at Starbucks this morning: “Hi, I’ll have the venti cafe mocha vodka valium latte to go please!”
1:57 PM · Aug 19, 2019·Twitter for Android

azfamily.com
Tubac: Arizona’s first permanent European settlement
azfamily.com News Staff Posted Nov 14, 2019
TUCSON, AZ (3TV/CBS 5)—Reuben Monroy is the chef and chief designer of Elvira’s in Tubac.
(...)
“Here’s a popular one - ‘I’ll have a double mocha, vodka-valium grande latte, to go, please.’”

Phoenix (AZ) New Times
11 Great Cooking Supply Stores in Metro Phoenix
NIKKI BUCHANAN, LAUREN CUSIMANO | DECEMBER 9, 2019 | 6:00AM
(...)
Kitchen Gourmet
7700 West Arrowhead Towne Center, Glendale
You don’t have to be a serious cook to appreciate this quirky kitchen store (also part gift shop) in Arrowhead Mall. You’ll get a kick out of the goofy signs at Kitchen Gourmet ("I’ll have a chocolate mocha-vodka-Valium-latte, please."), the hideous Elvis-headed cookie jar and the Day of the Dead-themed knickknacks.

Twitter
hot sauce hoe
@moistbluntwrap
Yes hi I’ll have a mocha vodka cafe latte extra valium no whipped cream plz and thank u
1:39 PM · Jan 21, 2020·Twitter for iPhone

Posted by Barry Popik
New York CityRestaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores • Sunday, January 26, 2020 • Permalink