“I’m not fat. I’m just a few meals ahead and a few shits behind” is a jocular saying that has been printed on an image. The expression is often given in numbers as “X meals ahead and X shits behind.”
   
“I feel a few meals ahead and a few shits behind!” was posted on Twitter by Doug Batchelor on October 1, 2009. “@DamonKalvari I was told I was 20 meals ahead and 50 shits behind!” was posted on Twitter by Dion Theunissen on July 22, 2010. “I’m two meals ahead and three shits behind” was posted on Twitter by D. Runkugain on February 15, 2013. “I didn’t say you’re fat. I said it looks like you’re two meals ahead and three shits behind” was posted on Twitter by Holy GoLightly on September 29, 2014. “I’m not fat, I am just a few meals ahead and a few shits behind” was posted on Twitter by Bob Kostic on July 28, 2022.
   
South African born New Zealand comedian and actress Urzila Carlson popularized the joke. “A fun night with @UrzilaCarlson. ‘I don’t call myself fat. I’m just a few meals ahead and a few shits behind’” was posted on Twitter by Lisa Herbert on May 22, 2019. “@UrzilaCarlson an amazing night the one part we all took away from it was ‘I’m a few meals ahead and a few shits behind’  loved the show legend” was posted on Twitter by Sarah Dooley on August 31, 2019. “Carlson’s jokes also prove incredibly quotable. ‘Like, I don’t identify as fat, but… I’m quite a few meals ahead and a few shits behind,’ she declares in a particularly memorable one-liner” was printed in Paste magazine on July 27, 2020.
   
       
Wikipedia: Urzila Carlson
Urzila Carlson (born 15 February 1976) is a South African born New Zealand comedian and actress, known for her stand-up performances as well as her appearances on television programs in both New Zealand and Australia.
   
Twitter
Doug Batchelor
@dougbatchelor
I feel a few meals ahead and a few shits behind!
7:52 AM · Oct 1, 2009·Twitter Web Client
   
Twitter
Jan Braai
@janbraai
Quite right,he’s full of it RT @Ant1412 @dannicholl Its not about it being fat free,you may just be several meals ahead&a few shits behind!
1:47 AM · Apr 8, 2010·Twitter Web Client
   
Twitter
Dion Theunissen
@Dion_T
Replying to @DamonKalvari
@DamonKalvari I was told I was 20 meals ahead and 50 shits behind!
9:55 AM · Jul 22, 2010·Gravity
   
Twitter
Anele Mdoda
@Anele
Replying to @Ebuka
@Ebuka If the jokes are smart it can work .It is easy to say some1 is fat but if you say “she is three meals ahead and 10 shits behind “...
9:37 AM · Dec 8, 2010·ÜberSocialOrig
   
Twitter
Mark Wertheimer
@Bosswerty
Heard a funny chirp other day to describe that overeaten feeling. Guy said, “I’m 3 meals ahead and 2 shits behind” lol!!
4:04 AM · Dec 25, 2010·SimplyTweet
             
Twitter
D. Runkugain
@Sober_n_sad
I’m two meals ahead and three shits behind
12:23 PM · Feb 15, 2013·Twitter for BlackBerry®
 
Twitter
Fake Happy Fomantis
@HippieFomantis
“He’s not even that fat. He’s just a few meals ahead and a few shits behind.”
6:12 AM · Aug 23, 2013·Twitter for iPhone
 
Twitter   
Holy GoLightly
@MadamBetteNoire
Water retention? Looks to me like you’re 2 meals ahead and 3 shits behind.
4:28 PM · Sep 29, 2014·Twitter for iPhone
 
Twitter
The Mayor of Durban
@LuckyGordy
Christmas time just means we’re 10 meals ahead and about 5 shits behind. In other news mmmm beer
11:57 AM · Dec 20, 2014·Tweetbot for iΟS
 
Twitter
Holy GoLightly
@MadamBetteNoire
I didn’t say you’re fat. I said it looks like you’re two meals ahead and three shits behind.
4:21 PM · Mar 14, 2015·Twitter for iPhone
 
Twitter       
Joey Muller
@joeymul06
@Urlisted Someone said earlier: 100 meals ahead but 200 shits behind. 😩
5:25 AM · Nov 15, 2016·Twitter for Android
 
Twitter
Lisa Herbert
@MsLisaHerbert
A fun night with @UrzilaCarlson. “I don’t call myself fat. I’m just a few meals ahead and a few shits behind.”  😂 #Loser
8:30 AM · May 22, 2019 from Launceston, Tasmania·Twitter for Android
 
Twitter
Sarah Dooley
@cobb808
@UrzilaCarlson an amazing night the one part we all took away from it was “I’m a few meals ahead and a few shits behind”  loved the show legend
6:42 AM · Aug 31, 2019·Twitter for Android
 
Twitter
Tori Plum
@ToriPlumDahl
“I’m a few meals ahead and a few shits behind”
😂😂😂
Y’all do yourselves a favor and watch the #UrzilaCarlson special on #Netflix
12:14 AM · Jul 17, 2020·Twitter for Android
 
Paste
Urzila Carlson Is Uproarious But Scattered on Overqualified Loser
By Clare Martin |  July 27, 2020 |  2:45pm
(...)
New Zealand-based Urzila Carlson is one such comedian whose career doesn’t make sense in American terms. (...) Carlson’s jokes also prove incredibly quotable. “Like, I don’t identify as fat, but… I’m quite a few meals ahead and a few shits behind,” she declares in a particularly memorable one-liner.
       
Twitter
Troy Duckworth
@tewakatroy
If you want a good kiwi laugh, check out Urzila Carlsons #Netflix show Overqualified Loser. So much funny… “I’m not fat, I’m just 2 meals ahead and 2 shits behind everyone else” 😆
7:09 PM · Nov 13, 2020·Twitter for iPhone
 
iFunny
MindHex_Media
18 jul 2022
I’m not fat, lam just a few meals ahead and a few shits behind Be
   
Twitter
Bob Kostic
@causticbob
I’m not fat, I am just a few meals ahead and a few shits behind
6:07 AM · Jul 28, 2022·Twitter Web App
 
iFunny
Santo_NotASaint
20 aug 2022
I’m not fat, lam just a few meals ahead and a few shits behind