“I’m only speeding because I really have to poop” is a popular jocular bumper sticker. “I’m only speeding because I have to poop” has been cited in print since at least 2007.
“I’m speeding because I have to get there before I forget where I’m going” is another bumper sticker about speeding.
yelp—Talk San Francisco
What Bumper Sticker Should Be On Your Car?
3/5/2007
B.K. W. says:
I actually saw one this past Saturday that said, “I’m only speeding because I have to poop.”
Yeah. Real nice.
Twitter
Nikki Murray
@buttershug
Looking at a bumper sticker on the car in front of us that says: “I’m only speeding ‘cause I really have to poop.”
1:20 PM - 29 Apr 2007
Purple Slinky
Funny Bumper Stickers
Published by Dambrath in Travel
December 2nd, 2007
(...)
118. I’m only speeding because i have to poop.
Google Books
Where the Pavement Ends:
Retreats at Assumption Abbey and Other Contemplative Journeys
By J. T. Knoll
Bloomington, IN: iUnvierse
2009
Pg. 278:
Which is why, I imagine, the sticker I’M ONLY SPEEDING BECAUSE I HAVE TO POOP! caught my eye a few days later
Google Books
Travels with Max:
In Search of Steinbeck’s America Fifty Years Later
By Gregory Zeigler
Salt Lake City, UT: Blaine Creek Press
2010
Pg. 114:
Her car had a bumper sticker that read, “I’m only speeding because I have to poop.”
Google Books
When I Was Alive
By Rosalyn Hanson
Xlibris Corporation (Xlibris.com)
2010
Pg. 197:
“Honey, Nick has a bumper sticker on the back of his truck that says ‘I’m only speeding ‘cause I really have to poop.’”
Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006. Now a Popeyes fast food restaurant on Google Maps.
Recent entries:
•“Laughter is the best medicine…except for treating diarrhea” (4/15)
•“Laughter is the best medicine. Unless you have diarrhea” (4/15)
•“If you know someone who is effortlessly happy in the morning, that is a demon. You’re friends with a demon” (4/15)
•“You know you’re a bad driver when Siri says: ‘In 400 feet, stop and let me out’” (4/15)
•“You know your driving is really terrible when your GPS says ‘After 300 feet, stop and let me out!’’ (4/15)
More new entries...
Above, Big Apple Corner at 54th Street and Broadway in Manhattan. Google Maps. Stolen and missing, 2021-2024.
Above, John J. Fitz Gerald, from the Aug. 15, 1931, Binghamton (NY) Press, pg. 14.
Listen to Robert Emmerich introduce "The Big Apple," a hit song from 1937. Music written by Bob and performed by Tommy Dorsey's Clambake Seven with Bob on piano. Lyrics written by Buddy Bernier and sung by Edythe Wright. Audio provided by Dorothy Emmerich.
Also listen to a 1937 "The Big Apple" song by Ozzie Nelson and his Orchestra. See a 1929 photo of John J. Fitz Gerald and a 1931 photo of John J. Fitz Gerald.
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