A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006. Now a Popeyes fast food restaurant on Google Maps.

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Entry from June 14, 2018
“Lettuce is just crunchy water”

Is lettuce mostly water? “Torn lettuce is prettier, anyway. Even if is just ‘crunchy water’” was posted on the newsgroup alt.fan.cecil-adams on November 7, 2001. “Favorite Salad Dressing:  Ranch.  The only reason to even eat salad. Without Ranch Dressing, it’s just crunchy water” was posted on the newsgroup rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc on May 10, 2002. “Why no iceberg?  It’s just crunchy water” was posted on the newsgroup austin.food on October 4, 2002.

Similar food sayings are “Celery is just crunchy water,” “Cucumbers are just crunchy water,” “Vegetables are just crunchy water,” “Watermelon is just crunchy juice” and “Watermelon is just crunchy water.”


Google Groups: alt.fan.cecil-adams
Police Food State! 
Tank
11/7/01
(...)
Torn lettuce is prettier, anyway. Even if is just “crunchy water”.

Google Groups: rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc
The New RATMM Survey
Kate Halleron
5/10/02
(...)
Favorite Salad Dressing:  Ranch.  The only reason to even eat salad.
Without Ranch Dressing, it’s just crunchy water.

Google Groups: austin.food
Mikado review: Asian fusion
Steve Wertz
10/4/02
(...)
Why no iceberg?  It’s just crunchy water.

9 April 2003, Fort Worth (TX) Star-Telegram, “Dining With...The Modern’s Man,” pg. 1E, col. 1:
Best food that Texans don’t know they’re missing: “Lettuce. I had one old Texan tell me, ‘Nothin’ to it, just crunchy water.’ He has a point, but with a little crumbled blue cheese...”

Twitter
🌷Molly Marshall 🌷
@probablymolly
wonders why iceburg lettuce exists. Who wants to eat crunchy water?
11:07 AM - 4 Dec 2006

Twitter
Crix Of The Month Club
@crixlee
Just heard the most brilliant definition of what lettuce tastes like: crunchy water.
3:30 AM - 19 Dec 2008

Twitter
Raquita
@Raquita
iceburg lettuce its like eating crunchy water.. I have no idea why I like it so
3:14 PM - 16 Feb 2009

Twitter
Ocdfashionista
@ComplexMosaic
RT @jimmycarr: lettuce is crunchy water!!
10:52 AM - 6 Mar 2009

Twitter
DA STEP DADDY OF RAP
@DamienSwag4dayz
the flavor of vegetables seem so unnecessary. tomatoes taste like water, cucumbers taste like water, lettuce taste like crunchy water
7:17 PM - 8 May 2012

Reddit—Highdeas
Lettuce is just crunchy water (self.highdeas)
submitted December 21, 2014 by Pubetube0
Ever think about that?

Reddit—Shower Thoughts
Lettuce is just crunchy water
submitted March 9, 2016 by sawer707

Reddit—Shower Thoughts
Lettuce is just crunchy water
submitted December 18, 2017 by ColDaddySupreme1

Redidit—Shower Thoughts
Lettuce is just crunchy water
submitted May 29, 2018 by Terelius

Twitter
grandpa fan account
@heathbeIser
iceberg lettuce is crunchy water
7:17 PM - 13 Jun 2018

Twitter
Jared-kun ʕ⊙ᴥ⊙ʔ
@JTCowner
romaine lettuce is just crunchy water
8:02 PM - 13 Jun 2018

Posted by Barry Popik
New York CityFood/Drink • Thursday, June 14, 2018 • Permalink