A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006.

Recent entries:
“Reinvent the wheel” (to do work unnecessarily when it has already been done) (11/17)
“Why am I the only person naked at this gender reveal party?” (11/17)
“Why am I the only naked person at this gender reveal party?” (11/17)
“When you stop believing in Santa, you get underwear” (11/16)
“First coffee, then presents” (11/16)
More new entries...

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Entry from July 25, 2015
Month 05—May

The following words or phrases are about May:

MAY
“Boss, can I have a week off around Christmas?” (joke)
“Don’t prune in May or June” (gardening adage)
“If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?”
“No winter lasts forever; no spring skips its turn”
“Sell in May and go away (buy back on St. Leger’s day)” (Halloween Indicator)
“Spring is a lovely reminder of how beautiful change can truly be”
“Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush”

MAY 1
Moving Day (May 1st)

MAY 4 (Star Wars’ Day)
“Come to the dark side. We have cookies”
“Come to the nerd side. We have Pi”
“I celebrate Cinco de Mayo so I get can drunk enough to forget yesterday’s ‘May the 4th’ jokes”
“I tried to force-feed our son when my wife said, ‘Use the fricking spoon. You’re not a Jedi‘“
“May the Fourth be with you” (Star Wars Day, May 4th)
“What’s Darth Vader’s favorite Canadian dish?"/"Palpoutine.”

MAY (first Friday) (International Tuba Day)
“What’s a tuba for?” (joke)
“What’s the range of a tuba?” (joke)

MAY 5 (Cinco de Mayo)
“Fiesta. Siesta. Repeat”
“Fiesta. Siesta. Tequila. Repeat”
“Happy Mexican St. Patrick’s Day” (Cinco de Mayo)
“I celebrate Cinco de Mayo so I get can drunk enough to forget yesterday’s ‘May the 4th’ jokes”
“I’m not above using obscure Mexican battles to justify my drinking” (Cinco de Mayo joke)
“Seis de Mayo sucks ass”
“Tequila. Fiesta. Siesta. Repeat”
“The national arms are covered with glory” (Ignacio Zaragoza, after the battle of Cinco de Mayo)
“The only downside to Cinco de Mayo is Seis de Hangover”
“We go together like Corona and lime”
“What do you call a Mexican drowning in mayonnaise?"/"Sinko de Mayo.”
“What’s the only major difference between Cinco de Mayo and Saint Patrick’s Day?” (joke)
Cinco de Drinko (Cinco de Mayo + drink)
Cinco de Mayo (fifth of May)
Sinkhole de Mayo (May 2008 sinkhole in Daisetta)

May 5 (National Hoagie Day)
Hoagie (sandwich)

MAY 6 (Seis de Mayo)
“Seis de Mayo sucks ass”
“The only downside to Cinco de Mayo is Seis de Hangover”

MAY (second Sunday) (Mother’s Day)
“A grandmother is a babysitter who watches the kids instead of the television”
“A grandmother is a little bit parent, a little bit teacher, and a little bit best friend”
“A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween”
“A mother holds her children’s hands for a while, but their hearts forever”
“A mother is a person who, seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people…”
“Being a parent means knowing how to unwrap a Snickers without making any noise”
“Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother”
“Don’t forget to pick up wine for Mother’s Day. After all, you are one of the reasons she drinks”
“Don’t plant until Mother’s Day”
“Father’s Day is just like Mother’s Day, only cheaper”
“Good moms have sticky floors, dirty ovens, and happy kids”
“Good moms let you lick the beaters. Great moms turn them off first”
“Grandmas are moms with lots of frosting”
“Grandmother—a wonderful mother with lots of practice”
“I had a pleasure trip—took my mother-in-law to the airport”
“I know how to do anything. I’m a mom”
“I told my mother-in-law to make herself at home, so she sold the place”
“If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?”
“If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy”
“It’s such a grand thing to be a mother of a mother — the world calls her grandmother”
“Life doesn’t come with a manual. It comes with a mother”
“Life was simpler when we honored father and mother rather than all major credit cards”
“Mixed emotions—when your mother-in-law drives your new car off a cliff”
“MOM stands for Mother, not Made Of Money”
“Moms are like buttons. They hold everything together”
“Motherhood: powered by love, fueled by coffee, sustained by wine”
“Mothers are those wonderful people who can get up in the morning before the smell of coffee”
“Nothing says Happy Mother’s Day like flowers bought from a gas station”
“The phrase ‘working mother’ is redundant”
“There’s no place like home, except grandma’s”
“There’s only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it”
Mom ‘n ‘em (Mom an’ ‘em)
Mom Wine (Mommy Wine)
Mother-in-Law of the Army (San Antonio nickname)
Mother-in-Law Sandwich (tamale with chili, usually in a hot dog bun)
Mother-in-Law Sandwich (tongue on rye; cold shoulder and lots of tongue)

MAY 13 (National Apple Pie Day)
“An apple pie without the cheese is like a kiss without the squeeze”
“As American as apple pie”
“Statistics are to baseball what a flaky crust is to Mom’s apple pie”
Apple Pie Trail (Blue Mountains, Ontario; Orange County, NY)
Cherpumple (cherry + pumpkin + apple)

MAY (last Monday) (Memorial Day)
“I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country” (Nathan Hale)
“It is the soldier, not the reporter, who has given us freedom of the press”
“Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it”
“The dead soldier’s silence sings our national anthem”
“We come, not to mourn our dead soldiers, but to praise them”
“We don’t know them all, but we owe them all”
Decoration Day

MAY 25 (National Wine Day)

MAY 28 (National Hamburger Day)
“(I will gladly pay you Tuesday for) A hamburger today”
“A hamburger walks into a bar…” (joke)
“Hamburgers love classical music. They go to the Meatropolitan Opera House and Cownegie Hall”
“Home of the 7 oz. Burger” (Jackson Hole)
“How did the jury find the hamburger?"/"Grill-ty as charred.”
“How do you make a cheeseburger sad?"/"Make it with blue cheese.”
“How do you make a hamburger laugh?"/"Pickle it.”
“How many hamburgers can you eat on an empty stomach?” (riddle)
“I dropped my burger on the floor. Now it’s ground beef”
“Sacred cows make the best hamburger”
“There is no Catholic way to cook a hamburger”
“What did the hamburger say when it pleaded ‘not guilty’?"/"I’ve been flamed!”
“Why did the teacher have her hair in a bun?"/"Because she had her nose in a hamburger.”
“World’s Greatest Hamburgers” (Fuddruckers slogan)
“Why does hamburger have less energy than steak?"/"Because it’s in the ground state.”
Alamo Burger
Balkan Burger (pljeskavica)
Barbecue Syndrome (Hamburger Disease: Barbecue Season Syndrome; Backyard Barbecue Syndrome)
Belly Bomb or Belly Bomber (White Castle hamburger nickname)
BILF (bacon or burger variant of MILF)
Border Burger (South of the Border Burger; Tex-Mex Burger)
Bulgogi Burger (Bulgoki Burger)
Burger (from “hamburger")
Cannibal Sandwich ("hamburger in the raw” or “beef tartar")
Chalupa Burger
Cheeseburger
Cheeseburger Capital of Texas (Friona nickname)
Chili Burger; Chili Dog
Chimichurri (Dominican Chimichurri Burger; Chimi Truck)
Chinese Hamburger (Rou Jia Mo)
Cuban Hamburger (Frita)
Fried Onion Burger (Onion Fried Burger; Onionburger)
Fusion Burger
Goober Burger or Goober Hamburger (hamburger with peanut butter)
Green Chile Burger/Green Chile Cheeseburger (Green Chili Burger/Green Chili Cheeseburger)
Hamburger
Hamburger & Fletcher Davis of Athens, TX ("Original Home of the Hamburger”?)
Hamburger Bun
Hamburger Disease (hemolytic uremic syndrome)
Hamburger Restaurant
Hamburger with everything; Hot Dog with everything; Pizza with everything
Hamburger with mustard and without ketchup (Cowboy Burger; Texas Burger)
Hamburguesa Mexicana (Mexican Burger)
Hamdog (hamburger + hot dog)
Hockey Puck (a burger, especially a hamburger cooked “well done")
Hot Hamburger
Loose Hamburger (Loose Burger; Loose Coney; Coney Hamburger; Coney Island Hamburger)
Murder Burger
Nothing Burger (Nothingburger)
Patty (Hamburger Patty)
Pretzel Burger
Ramen Burger
Ranch Burger (Ranchburger; Ranchero Burger)
Rectum Rocket (White Castle hamburger nickname)
Sesame Seed Bun (hamburger bun)
Sissy Burger (hamburger with mayonnaise and without ketchup or mustard)
Slider or Slyder (mini-hamburger)
Southwest Burger (Southwestern Burger)
SXSW (Somebody buy Some Whataburger)
Tenement House in a Shower of Rain (hamburger steak and gravy)
Texas Burger (with pastrami)
Tostada Burger
Two-Napkin, Three-Napkin, Four-Napkin or Five-Napkin Burger
Yankee Burger (hamburger with ketchup)

Posted by Barry Popik
New York CityCalendar • Saturday, July 25, 2015 • Permalink