The following words or phrases are about July:
JULY
“Every summer has a story”
“Every summer has its own story (but mine is a novel)”
“It’s unsticking your thighs from plastic chairs season”
“Less Monday, more summer”
“Less Mondays, more summer”
“Live every day like it’s a summer Friday”
“Live every day like it’s summer Friday”
“Live every Friday like it’s a summer Friday”
“Summer means about three months of no school shootings”
“Summer nights and ballpark lights”
“Summer nights and bonfire lights”
“Summer should get a speeding ticket”
“The only man worth chasing this summer is the ice cream man”
“There are three good reasons to be a teacher: June, July and August”
“You said you liked month puns. Why July to me?”
“You’re like school in July—no class”
Cowboy Christmas (July rodeo season)
JULY 1 (Canada Day)
“Drink Canada Dry” (joke)
“Edmonton is to Calgary as Austin is to Houston”
“What do the Toronto Maple Leafs and the Titanic have in common"” (hockey joke)
“Why did the Canadian cross the road?"/"To get to the middle.”
All Dressed Bagel
Canuck (Johnny Canuck)
Disco Fries (American version of “Poutine")
Plattsburgh: Montreal’s U.S. Airport (Plattsburgh International Airport nickname)
Reformicon (reform conservative)
Reformocon (reform conservative)
The Other Big Apple (Meaford, Ontario nickname)
Timmy Ho’s (Tim Hortons nickname)
Welfare Wednesday (Food Stamp Friday)
JULY 4 (Independence Day)
“Bold stripes, bright stars, brave hearts”
“Grandpa leapt around in his undies on the 4th. It was his In-Depends-Dance Day”
“Hope they allow us off lockdown by July 4th, so we can celebrate our freedom”
“Hotter than a firecracker on the Fourth of July” (very hot)
“Hotter than noon on the Fourth of July” (very hot)
“Hotter than the Fourth of July” (very hot)
“I’m not drunk, I’m patriotic”
“If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end it would be the Fourth of July”
“If it involves fireworks, summer nights, barbecues, beer, and freedom, count me in”
“Independence Day—celebrating the country by blowing up a small part of it”
“It’s July 8th and people are still shooting off fireworks. One almost caught our Christmas tree”
“Knee-high by the Fourth of July” (corn-growing adage)
“Prune roses before Presidents Day and azaleas before the Fourth of July”
“Remember kids, don’t play with fireworks. Leave it to the adults who have been drinking”
“Republicans believe every day is the Fourth of July; Democrats believe every day is April 15th”
“Some people enjoy a day off on the 4th of July, but not fire. Fire works”
“The team in first on July 4th will win the pennant” (baseball adage)
“Treason is the reason for the season” (Independence Day)
“What do you call an American drawing?"/"A Yankee Doodle.”
“What is Uncle Sam’s favorite snack?"/"Fire crackers.”
“Who goes forth with a fifth on the Fourth may not come forth on the fifth”
“Why don’t white people work on the fourth of July?"/"Because they firecrackers on that day!”
“You’re not a firework. Don’t drive lit”
Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest
JULY 5
“Summer begins on the 5th of July in Portland”
JULY 11
“Today’s date is 7/11, which is convenient”
Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006. Now a Popeyes fast food restaurant on Google Maps.
Recent entries:
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“A grown up silly straw is called a serious straw” (3/23)
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“Silly straws imply the existence of serious straws” (3/23)
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Entry in progress—BP (3/23)
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“Baked goods implies the existence of baked evils” (3/23)
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Entry in progress—BP (3/23)
More new entries...
Above, Big Apple Corner at 54th Street and Broadway in Manhattan. Google Maps.
Above, John J. Fitz Gerald, from the Aug. 15, 1931, Binghamton (NY) Press, pg. 14.
Listen to Robert Emmerich introduce "The Big Apple," a hit song from 1937. Music written by Bob and performed by Tommy Dorsey's Clambake Seven with Bob on piano. Lyrics written by Buddy Bernier and sung by Edythe Wright. Audio provided by Dorothy Emmerich.
Also listen to a 1937 "The Big Apple" song by Ozzie Nelson and his Orchestra. See a 1929 photo of John J. Fitz Gerald and a 1931 photo of John J. Fitz Gerald.
This site is edited by Barry Popik.