A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006.

Recent entries:
Thai Iced Tea (Cha Yen) (1/18)
Jianbing (Chinese crepes) (1/17)
Lion’s Head Meatballs (1/17)
Maitre D’ess (female maitre d’) (1/17)
“The Texas legislature should meet two days every 140 years” (1/17)
More new entries...

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Entry from July 25, 2015
Month 11—November

The following words or phrases are about November:

NOVEMBER
“Apple orchards, autumn skies, hot chocolate, and pumpkin pies”
“Autumn carries more gold in its pocket than all the other seasons”
“Autumn is my favorite color”
“Autumn skies and pumpkin pies”
“Autumn, the year’s last, loveliest smile”
“Early sunsets, warm tea, messy hair, big sweaters”
“Fall is sweater weather, crunchy leaves, and pumpkin spice everything”
“Happy fall, y’all” ("It’s fall, y’all")
“Remember November” ("Remember in November")
“Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall?"/"To make up for a bad summer.”
Mr. November (baseball playoffs hero)

NOVEMBER 1 (World Vegan Day)
“Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?”
“How do you know if someone is a vegan? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.”
“Hunting is easier for vegans because it’s easier to sneak up on plants”
“Save a cow—eat a vegetarian”
“The hardest part about being vegan is waking up at 5 a.m. to milk the almonds”
“What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea?"/"A salad shooter.”
“What’s the hardest part of making a vegan pizza?"/"Skinning the vegan.”
“When a vegan goes missing do they put them on a soymilk carton?”
Vegan Chili
Vegducken or Veggieducken (veggie + turducken)
Vegucate (vegan/vegetarian + educate); Vegucation

NOVEMBER (FIRST SUNDAY)
“If it weren’t for Spring Forward and Fall Back, I’d never get any exercise at all”
“Spring Forward, Fall Back”

NOVEMBER 9
“Why do Americans make such a fuss about 9/11 anyway? What happened on the 9th of November?”

NOVEMBER 11 (Veterans Day)
“All gave some, some gave all”
“A veteran is someone who wrote a blank check to the United States of America”
“America without her soldiers would be like God without His angels”
“Delay, deny, and hope that I die” (refrain about benefits claims)
“In war, there are no unwounded soldiers”
“It is the soldier, not the reporter, who has given us freedom of the press”
“Once a Marine, always a Marine”
“Real heroes don’t wear capes—they wear dog tags”
“This will remain the land of the free only so long as it is the home of the brave”
“Support our troops—We’ll need them to overthrow our government”
“The difference between the Boy Scouts and the Army is that the Scouts have adult supervision”
“There are no ex-Marines”
“We don’t know them all, but we owe them all”
“Your best bet is a vet” (military veterans saying)
Fort Neverlose (Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum nickname)
Mausoleum (Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum nickname)
Veterans Abandoned (Department of Veterans Affairs or VA nickname)

NOVEMBER (FOURTH WEDNESDAY)
Inflation Eve (balloon-inflating for Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade)

NOVEMBER (FOURTH THURSDAY) (Thanksgiving)
“A green Thanksgiving means a white Christmas”
“An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day”
“As long as we have wine, the holidays will be fine”
“Bless the food before us, the family beside us, and the love between us.”
“Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building?” (riddle)
“Coexistence --what the farmer does with the turkey until Thanksgiving”
“Cooking tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out.”
“Count your blessings instead of your crosses” (Thanksgiving poem)
“Eat, drink and be thankful.”
“For the hay and the corn and the wheat that is reaped” (Thanksgiving poem)
“Gobble ‘til you wobble” (Thanksgiving dinner saying)
“He who thanks with lips thanks but in part; the full, the true Thanksgiving comes from the heart.”
“How can you make a turkey float?"/"Get 2 ice cream scoops, root beer and a turkey.”
“How did the Mayflower show that it liked America?"/"It hugged the shore.”
“How does a turkey drink her wine?"/"In a gobble-let.”
“How many cooks does it take to stuff a turkey?” (joke)
“How many cranberries grow on a bush?"/"All of them.”
“I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way” (joke)
“I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage”
“I quit smoking cold turkey” (joke)
“I spent three weeks trying to stuff the Thanksgiving turkey—through the beak.”
“If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?”/"Pilgrims.”
“If fruit comes from a fruit tree, where does turkey come from?"/"A poul-tree.”
“Longest Running Show on Broadway” (Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade)
“May your Thanksgiving dinner stay off of your thighs!”
“Most turkeys taste better the day after, my mother’s tasted better the day before.”
“My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.”
“My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.”
“Never talk about religion or politics” (etiquette rule)
“Oh, I’m glad I’m not a turkey”
“On Thanksgiving Day all over America, families sit down to dinner at the same moment — halftime”
“On Thanksgiving, what’s always in the middle of the table?"/"The letter B.”
“Should you have your whole family for Thanksgiving dinner?"/"No, just have turkey.”
“Thanksgiving Day comes, by statute, once a year”
“Thanksgiving dinner is a unique experience. It’s like an orgy that’s rated G”
“Thanksgiving is for those who take time to remember; no one can give thanks who has a short memory.”
“Thanksgiving is nothing if not a glad and reverent lifting of the heart to God.”
“Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.”
“Thanksgiving, to be truly Thanksgiving, is first thanks, then giving.”
“Thanksgiving was never meant to be shut up in a single day.”
“The bears have Thanksgiving, but the bulls have Christmas” (or, “The bulls have Thanksgiving…")
“There is one day that is ours. Thanksgiving Day is the one day that is purely American.”
“There’s turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami…”
“We’re talking about a wonderful day when no one diets. Why else would they call it Thanksgiving?”
“What always comes at the end of Thanksgiving?"/"The letter G.”
“What are unhappy cranberries called?"/"Blueberries.”
“What can you never eat for Thanksgiving dinner?"/"Breakfast or lunch.”
“What did the monster say to the Thanksgiving turkey?"/"Pleased to eat you.”
“What did the Pilgrims use to bake cakes?"/"May-flour.”
“What did the turkey say before it was roasted?"/"Boy! I’m stuffed!”
“What did the turkey say to the computer?"/"Google, google!”
“What do math teachers do on Thanksgiving?"/"Count their blessings”
“What do you call it when it rains chickens, ducks and turkeys?"/"Fowl weather.”
“What do you get when you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?”
“What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?"/"Squash.”
“What do you wear to a Thanksgiving dinner?"/"A har-vest.”
“What happened when the turkey got into a fight?"/"He got the stuffing knocked out of him.”
“What happened when the waiter dropped the Thanksgiving meal?” (joke)
“What is a turkey’s favorite dessert?"/"Peach gobbler.”
“What is full of raisins and on a secret mission?"/"Mince spy.”
“What key has legs and can’t open doors?"/"A turkey.”
“What kind of music did the Pilgrims listen to?"/"Plymouth rock.”
“What smells best at Thanksgiving dinner?"/"Your nose.”
“What sound does a turkey’s cell phone make?"/"WING WING!!”
“What vegetables would you like for Thanksgiving dinner?"/"Beets me.”
“What’s the best way to stuff a turkey?"/"Take him out for pizza and ice cream!”
“What’s the difference between a pirate and a cranberry farmer?” (riddle)
“What’s the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner?"‘“The turkey.”
“What’s the most musical part of a turkey?"/"The drumstick.”
“What’s the sleepiest thing at the Thanksgiving table?"/"Nap-kins.”
“When do you serve tofu turkey?"/"Pranksgiving.”
“Where did the first corn come from?"/"The stalk brought it.”
“Where do turkeys go to dance?"/"The Butterball.”
“Where does Christmas come before Thanksgiving?”?"In the dictionary.”
“Which side of a turkey has the juiciest meat?"/"The inside.”
“Which side of a turkey has the most feathers?"/"The outside.”
“Which Thanksgiving beverage is sad?"/"Apple sigh-der.”
“Who doesn’t eat on Thanksgiving?"/"A turkey because it is always stuffed.”
“Who helps the little pumpkins cross the road to school?"/"The crossing gourd.”
“Why can’t you take a turkey to church?"/"Because they use fowl language.”
“Why did Johnny get low grades after Thanksgiving?"/"Everything is marked down after the holidays.”
“Why did the pilgrim eat a candle?"/"He wanted a light snack.”
“Why did the police arrest the turkey?"/"They suspected it of fowl play.”
“Why did the turkey cross the road?"/"It was the chicken’s day off.”
“Why did the cranberries turn red?"/"Because they saw the turkey dressing.”
“Why do turkeys always go ‘Gobble! Gobble!’?"/"Because they never learned good table manners.”
“Why do turkeys lay eggs?"/"Because if they dropped them they’d break.”
“Why don’t you eat fish on Thanksgiving?"/"Because Thanksgiving never falls on a fry day.”
“You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.”
Cherpumple (cherry + pumpkin + apple)
Gobblegeddon (gobble + Armageddon)
Holiday Pounds
Menurkey (menorah + turkey)
Mexican Cranberries (cranberries + jalapeños)
Piecaken (pie + cake + turducken)
Pilgrim (sandwich of Thanksgiving leftovers)
Pumpkin House (Hudson Heights, Manhattan)
Thankscaking (Thanksgiving + cake)
Thanksgivukah or Thanksgivukkah (Thanksgiving + Chanukah/Hanukkah)
Tofucken (tofu + turducken)
Tom Turkey
Turbaconducken (Turducken wrapped in bacon)
Turducken (Churkendoose; Chuckey; Churkey; Qua-duc-ant; Osturducken)
Turkey Dance (Thanksgiving football sack dance) & Funky Chicken Dance
Turkey Day (Thanksgiving Day)
Turkey Tamale Pie (Turkey Tamales)
Vegducken or Veggieducken (veggie + turducken)

NOVEMBER (Friday after Thanksgiving)
“I don’t know what the big deal is about Black Friday. All Fridays matter”
“I just got completely burnt fries at a restaurant. It really is Black Fry Day”
Black Friday (Big Friday)
Black Friday (false etymology about slavery)

NOVEMBER 25
Evacuation Day (November 25th)

NOVEMBER (FOURTH SATURDAY)
Small Business Saturday

NOVEMBER (FIFTH TUESDAY)
Giving Tuesday (Tuesday after Thanksgiving)

Posted by Barry Popik
New York CityCalendar • Saturday, July 25, 2015 • Permalink