A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006. Now a Popeyes fast food restaurant on Google Maps.

Recent entries:
“The F in communism stands for food” (3/27)
“Why do your kids go to school in gun-free zones, but Congress goes to work with armed guards?” (3/27)
“Why does Congress goes to work with armed security, but your kids go to school in gun-free zones?” (3/27)
“What do you do for a living?"/"My best. I do my best.” (3/27)
Entry in progress—BP (3/27)
More new entries...

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Entry from July 25, 2015
Month 11—November

The following words or phrases are about November:

“Apple orchards, autumn skies, hot chocolate, and pumpkin pies”
“Autumn carries more gold in its pocket than all the other seasons”
“Autumn is a season followed immediately by looking forward to spring”
“Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower”
“Autumn is my favorite color”
“Autumn leaves a smile on my face”
“Autumn skies and pumpkin pies”
“Autumn, the year’s last, loveliest smile”
“Early sunsets, warm tea, messy hair, big sweaters”
“Fall has always been my favorite season. The time when everything bursts with its last beauty”
“Fall is sweater weather, crunchy leaves, and pumpkin spice everything”
“Fall vibe: drinking too much coffee on an empty stomach & visibly shaking til dinner but in a hoodie”
“Happiness is coffee on a fall day”
“Happy fall, y’all” ("It’s fall, y’all")
“It’s not fall without football” (autumn saying)
“Leaves are falling and pumpkin spice is calling”
“Leaves are falling. Autumn is calling”
“Leaves are falling. Coffee is calling”
“Leaves are falling. Pumpkin is calling”
“Leaves are falling. Pumpkin spice lattes are calling”
“Leaves are falling. Pumpkins are calling”
“My fall look this year is drinking my coffee on an empty stomach & visibly shaking until lunch time”
“No Noise November. Everybody shut the fuck up”
“No Noise November. Everybody shut up”
“No Noise November. Everyone shut the fuck up”
“No Noise November. Everyone shut up”
“November doesn’t have afternoons. It’s just morning until 2 p.m., then night”
“Premature treejaculation—the act of erecting one’s festive decor in any month prior to December”
“Remember November” ("Remember in November")
“Snow in November happens because people prematurely decorate for Christmas”
“The era of pumpkin will fall & northern winds whisper ‘peppermint everything.’ Minter is coming”
“The leaves are falling and the coffee is calling”
“The leaves are falling. My coffee is calling”
“The season of leggings and yoga pants is upon us”
“We call it fall because leaf fall down”
“We call it fall because leaves fall down”
“What is red, orange and yellow and doesn’t get hurt when it falls?"/"Autumn leaves!”
“What is the cutest of all seasons?"/"Awwwwwtumn!”
“What is the cutest season?"/"Awwtumn.”
“When do we get to cash in all this daylight we’ve been saving?”
“When the moon hits your eye like it’s 4:45, that’s November”
“Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall?"/"To make up for a bad summer.”
“Winter is coming. Don’t forget to reverse your battery so the heat comes on…”
Mr. November (baseball playoffs hero)

NOVEMBER 1 (day after Halloween)
“If you eat too many salted pretzels on Halloween, what happens the next day?"/"November thirst.”
“November 1st: Happy National Eat Your Kids’ Halloween Candy While They Are In School Day”
“November 1st: National Eat Your Kids’ Halloween Candy While They Are at School Day”

NOVEMBER 1 (World Vegan Day)
“Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?”
“How do you know if someone is a vegan? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.”
“Hunting is easier for vegans because it’s easier to sneak up on plants”
“Save a cow—eat a vegetarian”
“The hardest part about being vegan is waking up at 5 a.m. to milk the almonds”
“What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea?"/"A salad shooter.”
“What’s the hardest part of making a vegan pizza?"/"Skinning the vegan.”
“When a vegan goes missing do they put them on a soymilk carton?”
Vegan Chili
Vegducken or Veggieducken (veggie + turducken)
Vegucate (vegan/vegetarian + educate); Vegucation

“A busy night at Stonehenge as workers move all the stones back one hour”
“Apparently, the clocks go back in November. I can’t remember where I got mine from!”
“Don’t forget to set your clocks from sunshine and happiness back to misery and despair”
“If it weren’t for Spring Forward and Fall Back, I’d never get any exercise at all”
“Spring Forward, Fall Back”

“I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it’s election night”

“Why do Americans make such a fuss about 9/11 anyway? What happened on the 9th of November?”

NOVEMBER 11 (Veterans Day)
“All gave some, some gave all”
“A veteran is someone who wrote a blank check to the United States of America”
“America without her soldiers would be like God without His angels”
“Delay, deny, and hope that I die” (refrain about benefits claims)
“If you show your papers to attend a Remembrance Day ceremony, you’ve already forgotten”
“In war, there are no unwounded soldiers”
“It is the soldier, not the reporter, who has given us freedom of the press”
“Once a Marine, always a Marine”
“Real heroes don’t wear capes—they wear dog tags”
“This will remain the land of the free only so long as it is the home of the brave”
“Support our troops—We’ll need them to overthrow our government”
“The difference between the Boy Scouts and the Army is that the Scouts have adult supervision”
“There are no ex-Marines”
“We don’t know them all, but we owe them all”
“Your best bet is a vet” (military veterans saying)
Fort Neverlose (Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum nickname)
Mausoleum (Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum nickname)
Veterans Abandoned (Department of Veterans Affairs or VA nickname)

Inflation Eve (balloon-inflating for Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade)

“A green Thanksgiving means a white Christmas”
“An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day”
“As long as we have wine, the holidays will be fine”
“Be sure to bring up politics at Thanksgiving this year to save on Christmas gifts”
“Black people don’t eat breakfast on Thanksgiving. We starve until 4 o’clock”
“Black people don’t eat breakfast on Thanksgiving. We starve until the food is ready”
“Bless the food before us, the family beside us, and the love between us.”
“Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building?” (riddle)
“Can’t wait to make a huge Thanksgiving dinner so my child can eat one roll”
“Coexistence --what the farmer does with the turkey until Thanksgiving”
“Cooking tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out”
“Count your blessings instead of your crosses” (Thanksgiving poem)
“Don’t forget to set your scales back 10 pounds tonight”
“Don’t forget to turn your bathroom scales back 15 pounds Wednesday night at 1am for Thanksgiving”
“Don’t worry about what you eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas…”
“Eat, drink and be thankful”
“For the hay and the corn and the wheat that is reaped” (Thanksgiving poem)
“Gobble ‘til you wobble” (Thanksgiving dinner saying)
“He who thanks with lips thanks but in part; the full, the true Thanksgiving comes from the heart.”
“Holiday calories don’t count”
“How can you make a turkey float?"/"Get 2 ice cream scoops, root beer and a turkey.”
“How did the Mayflower show that it liked America?"/"It hugged the shore.”
“How does a turkey drink her wine?"/"In a gobble-let.”
“How many cooks does it take to stuff a turkey?” (joke)
“How many cranberries grow on a bush?"/"All of them.”
“I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way” (joke)
“I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage”
“I consider myself a moral person. That’s why I only eat turkeys that have exhausted appeals”
“I just saved a ton of money on Christmas presents by discussing politics over Thanksgiving dinner”
“I never used to warm up my Thanksgiving leftovers, but then I quit cold turkey”
“I quit smoking cold turkey” (joke)
“I spent three weeks trying to stuff the Thanksgiving turkey—through the beak”
“I used to be addicted to Thanksgiving leftovers. I had to quit cold turkey”
“I’m really getting into the Thanksgiving spirit. I’ve already given the bird to lots of people”
“If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?”/"Pilgrims.”
“If fruit comes from a fruit tree, where does turkey come from?"/"A poul-tree.”
“If they tell you to just bring cups, plates and ice for Thanksgiving, your cooking sucks”
“In the US, we have a candy holiday, followed by a pie holiday, next a cookies and candy holiday…”
“It’s only turkey if it’s from the farm region of Turkey. Otherwise, it’s sparkling chicken”
“Keep calm and gobble on”
“Longest Running Show on Broadway” (Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade)
“May none of your real feelings slip out at Thanksgiving dinner”
“May your Thanksgiving dinner stay off of your thighs!”
“May your turkey be moist and may no one use that word to describe it”
“Most turkeys taste better the day after, my mother’s tasted better the day before.”
“My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.”
“My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.”
“Never talk about religion or politics” (etiquette rule)
“Oh, I’m glad I’m not a turkey”
“On Thanksgiving black ppl don’t eat breakfast. We starve until da food ready”
“On Thanksgiving country folks don’t eat breakfast. We starve until the food is ready”
“On Thanksgiving Day all over America, families sit down to dinner at the same moment — halftime”
“On Thanksgiving Hispanics don’t eat breakfast. We starve until da food ready”
“On Thanksgiving we don’t eat breakfast. We starve until the food is ready”
“On Thanksgiving, what’s always in the middle of the table?"/"The letter B.”
“Pretty excited about making a huge Thanksgiving feast so my daughter can eat a roll”
“Remember to set your scale back 10 lb. this week”
“Save a turkey. Eat a pie”
“Save a turkey. Eat a pizza”
“Save a turkey. Eat a taco”
“Should you have your whole family for Thanksgiving dinner?"/"No, just have turkey.”
“Show me Thanksgiving leftovers in the garbage and I’ll show you a man who quit cold turkey”
“Six allowed at Thanksgiving but 30 for a funeral. I will be holding a funeral for my pet turkey”
“So sad that in just a few days bread and dessert will have calories again”
“Thanksgiving calories don’t count”
“Thanksgiving Day comes, by statute, once a year”
“Thanksgiving dinner is a unique experience. It’s like an orgy that’s rated G”
“Thanksgiving is for those who take time to remember; no one can give thanks who has a short memory.”
“Thanksgiving is nothing if not a glad and reverent lifting of the heart to God.”
“Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.”
“Thanksgiving, to be truly Thanksgiving, is first thanks, then giving.”
“Thanksgiving was never meant to be shut up in a single day.”
“The bears have Thanksgiving, but the bulls have Christmas” (or, “The bulls have Thanksgiving…")
“There is one day that is ours. Thanksgiving Day is the one day that is purely American.”
“There’s turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami…”
“Walmart will be closed on Thanksgiving so self-checkout cashiers can be with their families”
“We don’t eat breakfast on Thanksgiving. We starve until the food is ready”
“We’re having a traditional Thanksgiving. Invite neighbors to dinner, murder them, take their land”
“We’re talking about a wonderful day when no one diets. Why else would they call it Thanksgiving?”
“What always comes at the end of Thanksgiving?"/"The letter G.”
“What are unhappy cranberries called?"/"Blueberries.”
“What can you never eat for Thanksgiving dinner?"/"Breakfast or lunch.”
“What did the monster say to the Thanksgiving turkey?"/"Pleased to eat you.”
“What did the Pilgrims use to bake cakes?"/"May-flour.”
“What did the turkey say before it was roasted?"/"Boy! I’m stuffed!”
“What did the turkey say to the computer?"/"Google, google!”
“What do math teachers do on Thanksgiving?"/"Count their blessings”
“What do Thanksgiving and Halloween have in common?"/"One has gobblers, the other goblins.”
“What do turkeys have to be thankful for on Thanksgiving?"/"Vegans.”
“What do turkeys have to be thankful for on Thanksgiving?"/"Vegetarians.”
“What do you call a turkey after Thanksgiving?"/"Lucky.”
“What do you call a turkey on the day after Thanksgiving?"/"Lucky.”
“What do you call it when it rains chickens, ducks and turkeys?"/"Fowl weather.”
“What do you get if you cross a turkey with a banjo?"/"A bird that plucks itself.”
“What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo?"/"A turkey that can pluck himself.”
“What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo?"/"A turkey that can pluck itself.”
“What do you get when you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?”
“What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?"/"Squash.”
“What do you wear to a Thanksgiving dinner?"/"A har-vest.”
“What does an incoherent turkey say?"/"Garble! Garble! Garble!”
“What does Thanksgiving have in common with Halloween?"/"Gobble-ins!”
“What happened when the turkey got into a fight?"/"He got the stuffing knocked out of him.”
“What happened when the waiter dropped the Thanksgiving meal?” (joke)
“What is a coffee bean’s favorite thing to eat on Thanksgiving?"/"Roast.”
“What is a turkey’s favorite dessert?"/"Peach gobbler.”
“What is full of raisins and on a secret mission?"/"Mince spy.”
“What key has legs and can’t open doors?"/"A turkey.”
“What kind of music did the Pilgrims listen to?"/"Plymouth rock.”
“What smells best at Thanksgiving dinner?"/"Your nose.”
“What sound does a turkey’s cell phone make?"/"WING WING!!”
“What vegetables would you like for Thanksgiving dinner?"/"Beets me.”
“What’s Bigfoot’s favorite Thanksgiving side?"/"Sas-squash.”
“What’s the best way to stuff a turkey?"/"Take him out for pizza and ice cream!”
“What’s the difference between a pirate and a cranberry farmer?” (riddle)
“What’s the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner?"‘“The turkey.”
“What’s the most musical part of a turkey?"/"The drumstick.”
“What’s the sleepiest thing at the Thanksgiving table?"/"Nap-kins.”
“When do you serve tofu turkey?"/"Pranksgiving.”
“When you heat up leftovers from Thanksgiving, you’re quitting cold turkey”
“Where did the first corn come from?"/"The stalk brought it.”
“Where do turkeys go to dance?"/"The Butterball.”
“Where does Christmas come before Thanksgiving?”?"In the dictionary.”
“Which side of a turkey has the juiciest meat?"/"The inside.”
“Which side of a turkey has the most feathers?"/"The outside.”
“Which Thanksgiving beverage is sad?"/"Apple sigh-der.”
“Who doesn’t eat on Thanksgiving?"/"A turkey because it is always stuffed.”
“Who helps the little pumpkins cross the road to school?"/"The crossing gourd.”
“Why can’t you take a turkey to church?"/"Because they use fowl language.”
“Why did Johnny get low grades after Thanksgiving?"/"Everything is marked down after the holidays.”
“Why did the pilgrim eat a candle?"/"He wanted a light snack.”
“Why did the police arrest the turkey?"/"They suspected it of fowl play.”
“Why did the turkey cross the road?"/"It was the chicken’s day off.”
“Why did the cranberries turn red?"/"Because they saw the turkey dressing.”
“Why do turkeys always go ‘Gobble! Gobble!’?"/"Because they never learned good table manners.”
“Why do turkeys lay eggs?"/"Because if they dropped them they’d break.”
“Why don’t you eat fish on Thanksgiving?"/"Because Thanksgiving never falls on a fry day.”
“You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.”
Cherpumple (cherry + pumpkin + apple)
Gobblegeddon (gobble + Armageddon)
Holiday Pounds
Hallothanksmas (Halloween + Thanksgiving + Christmas)
Hallowthanksmas (Halloween + Thanksgiving + Christmas)
Menurkey (menorah + turkey)
Mexican Cranberries (cranberries + jalapeños)
Piecaken (pie + cake + turducken)
Pilgrim (sandwich of Thanksgiving leftovers)
Pumpkin House (Hudson Heights, Manhattan)
Thankscaking (Thanksgiving + cake)
Thanksgivukah or Thanksgivukkah (Thanksgiving + Chanukah/Hanukkah)
Tofucken (tofu + turducken)
Tom Turkey
Turbaconducken (Turducken wrapped in bacon)
Turducken (Churkendoose; Chuckey; Churkey; Qua-duc-ant; Osturducken)
Turkey Dance (Thanksgiving football sack dance) & Funky Chicken Dance
Turkey Day (Thanksgiving Day)
Turkey Tamale Pie (Turkey Tamales)
Vegducken or Veggieducken (veggie + turducken)

NOVEMBER (Friday after Thanksgiving)
“Black Friday special! Stay at home and save 100%”
“How can you tell which one of your friends got a good Black Friday deal?” (joke)
“I don’t know what the big deal is about Black Friday. All Fridays matter”
“I just got completely burnt fries at a restaurant. It really is Black Fry Day”
“I skip Black Friday because my hatred of mankind outweighs my love for stuff”
“Is the Sunday after Black Friday known as Black Sabbath?”
“It’s Robinson Crusoe’s favorite shopping day” (Black Friday)
“What day comes after Black Friday?"/"Black Sabbath.”
“What do you call a vampire who does his shopping on Black Friday?"/"Dis-Count.”
BFD (Black Friday Deal)
Black Friday (Big Friday)
Black Friday (false etymology about slavery)

Evacuation Day (November 25th)

Small Business Saturday

Giving Tuesday (Tuesday after Thanksgiving)

Posted by Barry Popik
New York CityCalendar • Saturday, July 25, 2015 • Permalink