“People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money you can have a key made” is a classic line from American comedian, actress and television host Joan Rivers (1933-2014). The quotation was cited—unattributed—in two 1990 newspapers. Joan Rivers was credited with the quote in print by at least 2002.
 
     
Wikiquote: Joan Rivers   
Joan Alexandra Rosenberg (June 8, 1933 – September 4, 2014), known by her stage name Joan Rivers, was an American actress, comedian, writer, producer and television host, best known for her stand-up comedy, for co-hosting the E! celebrity fashion show Fashion Police, and for starring in the reality series Joan & Melissa: Joan Knows Best? alongside her daughter Melissa Rivers.
 
Quotes
People say money is not the key to happiness, but I’ve always figured if you have enough money you can get a key made.
. As quoted in Seriously Funny (2009), by G. Nachman, p. 606
 
31 May 1990, The Baylor County Banner (Seymour, TX), “Passing Day” by Earl Gwinn, pg. 1, col. 1:
People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I figure if you have enough money you can have a key made.
 
15 June 1990, Waco (TX) Citizen, “Brazos Trails” by Bill Foster, pg. 1, col. 1:
AND THEY SAY
And people say money is not the key to happiness. But I figure with enough money you can have a key made.
 
Google Books
The Principles of Sustainability
By Simon Dresner
Sterling, VA: Earthscan Publications Ltd.
2002
Pg. 63:
People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made. - Joan Rivers
   
Google Books
February 2007, San Diego (CA) magazine, pg. 46, col. 3:
JER (Jerry Cezak—ed.): I always tell kids that money is not the key to happiness. But if you have enough money, you can get a key made.
 
Google News Archive
27-30 March 2009, Cape Gazette (Lewes, DE), pg. 86, col. 4:
FAMOUS JOAN RIVERS QUOTES
“People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money you can have a key made.”
 
Twitter
Michael A. Gayed,CFA
‏@pensionpartners
“People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.” - Joan Rivers
7:09 PM - 26 Mar 2015