“Snow is like a man” or “Snow is like sex” or “Sex is like snow” or “Sex is like a snowstorm” is the start of an old joke that has been printed on many images. The punchline varies slightly, but a popular version is: “You never know how many inches you’ll get or how long it’s going to last.”
   
“Sex is like snow” was printed on a T-shirt by at least 1979. American comedian and actor George Burns (1896-1996) wrote in Dear George: Advice & Answers from America’s Leading Expert on Everything from A to B (1985):
 
“When I was in vaudeville I knew a stripper who worked at the Globe Theater in Atlantic City. One winter night we were having supper together, and she said to me, ‘The way I see it, sex is like a snowstorm. You never know how much you’re going to get, how long it’s going to last, or how you’re going to get out of it.’”
 
This remark was probably made in the early 1920s. Atlantic City’s Globe Theatre opened as a vaudeville house in 1913, and it operated as a burlesque house until the 1960s. Burns met Gracie Allen (1895-1964) in 1922 and they were married in 1924. Burns and Allen stopped performing in vaudeville and started in radio in the early 1930s.
               
 
31 August 1979, Chicago (IL) Tribune, “Close-up” with Dorothy Collin, sec. 1, pg. 5, col. 2:
A girl took the stage wearing a T-shirt which read “Sex is like snow.” The rest of the words explained the comparison which, unfortunately, can’t be printed in a family newspaper.
     
Google Books
Your Sexuality:
A Personal Inventory
By Robert F Valois and Sandra Kammermann
New York, NY: Random House
1984
Pg. 226:
21. Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.
   
Google Books
February-March 1984, Mother Jones, pg. 61 ad:
108 SEX IS LIKE SNOW YOU NEVER KNOW HOW MANY INCHES YOU’LL GET OR HOW LONG ITS GOING TO LAST
(Advertisement of T-shirt sayings.—ed.)
 
Google Books
Dear George:
Advice & Answers from America’s Leading Expert on Everything from A to B
By George Burns
New York, NY: Putnam
1985
Pg. 167:
When I was in vaudeville I knew a stripper who worked at the Globe Theater in Atlantic City. One winter night we were having supper together, and she said to me, “The way I see it, sex is like a snowstorm. You never know how much you’re going to get, how long it’s going to last, or how you’re going to get out of it.”
 
Google Groups: rec.humor.funny
Murphy’s Laws on Sex
Sunil S. Desai
8/2/89
(...)
9. Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.
 
Google Groups: alt.sex
Is sex enjoyable??
Kevin Wang
11/9/90
(...)
MURPHY’S LAWS ON SEX
9. Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.
 
Google Groups: bit.listserv.hellas
grafiti
Cris Koutsougeras
5/7/92
To parakatw eivai avadnmosieusi paliou posting sto hellas.  Para ta
180 kbyte
(...)
Sex is like a snowstorm…you never know how many inches you’ll get or how long it will last
 
Google Groups: bit.listserv.words-l
Grammatical question… 
Ruth M. Hanschka
12/11/92
In a previous article, “Stephen H. Karlson 753-6980 ” (815) says:
>: It’s supposed to snow here too.  We could get rain, half an inch, or a
>: foot.  In New England you never know.
>—
>New England snow is like sex, right?
>
 
Steve, that joke’s been around more and longer than Zhazha Gabor.:-(
   
Google Groups: rec.org.mensa
Evil and Big Goddesses
David K. Merriman
8/20/93
(...)
Of course, you know how snow is like sex?
 
Never know how much you’re gonna get, or how long it’s gonna last…
     
Google Groups: sci.astro
Satellite Two Line Elements
Gary Harland
11/26/93
(...)
“Snow is like sex: you never know how much you’ll get or how long it will last.” -anonymous pilot checking in to Sea-Tac tower-
   
Google Groups: alt.castlenet
Now we got the snow :-(
Lilith Bee
12/19/99
MEN ARE LIKE . . . Snow Storms, you never know when they’re coming, how many inches you’ll get or how long they will last.
heh heh heh…....
(an oldie) but I still like it!!
 
Google Groups: dfw.singles
Snow?
.(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)
11/9/00
In article
<29D136D56D6D18FD.71A170654B1B79D0.462ABC6E3DACAAF2@lp.airnews.net>,

  Jerry

wrote:
> The Diva wrote:
> >
> > My knee hurts (predicts snow) and it’s snowing very close to us?
> > Check out that radar!  Get out those virtual snowballs!
> >
> > ~Diva
> > (Something to do until the next president is announced!)
>
> Snow is like sex - you never know how much you’re gonna get or how
long
> it’s gonna last.  And I don’t need no stinkin’ radar to know it’s not
> gonna snow.  😊)
 
Or how many inches you’ll get…  😊
 
Twitter
MrsFerguson‏
@LauraFBrown80
Snow is like a man….......You wait forever for it to come then when it does you realise it wasnt worth the wait!
6:51 AM - 16 Dec 2009
 
Twitter
Jill‏
@Scotwriter
Replying to @MrJDStokes
@MrJohny2Shoes Snow is like a man….comes at you hard and fast and leaves you wet and asking is that it? ;p
2:10 PM - 1 Dec 2010
   
Twitter
Sandy‏
@SMDofficial
I’ve decided snow is like a man…starts small then the inches creep up until in the end it’s just a slushy mess!! STAY AWAY FROM IT 😊
10:30 AM - 2 Dec 2010
 
Twitter
NotMyProblem‏
@Mis_Nik
coworker: “snow is like a man. the # of inches is always exaggerated, and you never know how long it’s going to last.”
3:14 PM - 11 Jan 2011
 
Twitter
BriDASH‏
@BriDASH
Snow is like a man , you never know how many inches your gonna get… Or how long it’ll last 0_o
10:22 PM - 19 Jan 2011
 
Twitter
Megan Sylvester‏
@Rawr_its_meg
Snow is like a man.. You never know how much you’ll get or how long it will last
12:44 PM - 20 Dec 2012
 
Twitter
Echo Hughes‏
@MissEchoHughes
Snow is like a man, you never know when its going to come or how long its going to last or how many inches you will get. . . #SNOW
6:40 AM - 20 Jan 2013
 
Reddit—Jokes
Snow is like sex…
submitted January 26, 2015 by abovetheabyss24
You never know how many inches you’ll get or how long it will last. ..
   
Twitter
Mike‏
@squelchuk
Replying to @maleo
Because like the old joke says, snow is like a man: you don’t know how many inches you’re getting or how long it will last
3:47 PM - 13 Jan 2017
 
Twitter
Brian Sillett‏
@b1r6i5
Replying to @ShitJokes
Snow is like a man,
you don’t know how hard it is going to be,
You don’t know how many inches you’re going to get,
and you don’t know when it’s coming.
8:11 AM - 9 Dec 2017