“A guy walks into a bar…” is a typical form of what has been called the “bar joke.” A vampire version has three vampires walk into a bar. The first two order blood (or a Bloody Mary), but the last vampire orders hot water. “What do you want with hot water?” the bartender asks. The third vampire pulls out a use tampon and says, “Tea time!”
   
The joke was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on October 9, 1990.
 
“Two vampires walk into a bar…” is another bar joke version.
   
 
Google Groups: rec.humor
Did you hear the one about
Dave Frederick
10/9/90
(...)
The way I heard it ...
 
Three vampires walk into a bar
The first one says: “Give me a blodd straight up”. The bartender fills a shot glass with blood, and the vampire downs it.
 
The second vampire says:” Give me a blood on the rocks”. THe bartender fills a glass with ice, puors in some blood, and the vampire downs it.
 
The third vampire says: ” Give me a cup of hot water”. The bartender gives him a strange look, but not wanting to offend his customer, he fills a cup with hot water and gives it to the vampire. The vampire pulls out a tampon and says, “Great, now I can have some tea”.
 
Google Groups: soc.culture.vietnamese
Vampire jokes
Only In My Dreams
9/14/92
(...)
Three vampires go into a bar.  The waitress walks up to them and asks them what they’ll have.
 
The first vampire says:  I’ll have a pint of B positive.
The second vampire says:  I’m not really thirsty, so I’ll have half a pint of AB negative.
And the third vampire says:  I’ll just have hot water please.
 
The waitress says: hot water?  What do you want that for?
The third vampire pulls out a used tampon and says:  I’m going to make tea!
 
Google Groups: aus.jokes
Vampires In A Bar
Mr Funny Bone International
6/5/99
Some vampires walk into a bar The head vampire walks up to the bar and says, “Three glasses of hot water please.” The bartender was a bit baffled by the request-figuring of course that the vampires would want a bloody Mary or something-but he said nothing and gave the vampires what they ordered. The vampires went over to a dark corner of the bar and went about their business.
 
The next night the vampires return with the same order. The bartender is getting pretty curious but figures he won’t bother asking the vampires about the water.
 
The third night, the same thing. “Three glasses of warm water please.” The bartender says nothing at first, but as the evening goes on he just cant get the thought out of his mind. So he finally decides to go over there. He asks, “Why are you vampires always ordering the hot water.” The head vampire pulls a used tampon out of his pocket and says, “To make tea”
     
Reddit—Funny
Three Vampires Walk Into A Bar (self.funny)
submitted March 25, 2011 by DrumBumification
The first vampire approaches the bartender and says “I’ll have a glass of blood on the rocks.” The bartender makes his drink, and asks the second “And for you?” “Three shots of blood thanks.” The third vampire (a girl) says “I’ll have a cup of warm water please.” “Why the hell would you want that?” the bartender replies. She pulls out a box of tampons and replies “Because I’m making tea.”
 
Reddit—Funny
A vampire walks into a bar… (self.funny)
submitted July 6, 2011 by Tai2172
A vampire walks into a bar, he goes up to the bartender and orders a Bloody Mary. The bartender gives it to him and he drinks it.
 
The next day, the vampire walks into the same bar, goes up to the bartender and orders another Bloody Mary. The bartender again fixes him another Bloody Mary and he drinks it.
 
This goes on for about a week, until the vampire walks into the bar, goes up to the bartender. The bartender looks at him and asks, “the usual?”
 
The vampire says “no, just bring me a glass of hot water?” “Hot water?” The bartender asks, “what do your want with hot water?” Then the vampire pulls out a tampon and says…..
 
“Tea Time.”
   
Reddit—Jokes
Three vampires walk into a bar…
submitted July 11, 2012 by greenhippie18
The bartender asks the first vampire what he wants to drink. He replies, through a thick Transylvanian accent, “Warm blood.” The bartender pulls a live rat out from under the bar, cleaves its head off, and drains the blood into a glass.
 
He asks the second vampire what he wants to drink, and he replies “Cold blood.” The bartender pulls out another rat, chops off its head, and throws several ice cubes into the glass with the blood.
 
The bartender asks the third vampire what he wants to drink, and the vampire says “Water.” The bartender is puzzled. “Don’t you want blood?” he asks. The vampire says, “Oh, no, I’m making tea,” and pulled a used tampon out of his jacket.
 
Reddit—Jokes
Three vampires walk into a bar
submitted July 29, 2018 by Sjz2500
First vampire asks for a Bloody Mary, second asks for a shot of blood, third asks for a cup of hot water. The other vampires give him a confused look. The third vampire says “ I just want some tea” as he pulls out a dirty tampon.