"Contact lenses” shouldn’t be confused with “contacts,” but there are jokes.
“Someone stole my glasses. I will find you. I have my contacts” was posted on Twitter by “floss my adventures” on February 26, 2019. “A warning to the person who stole my glasses. I have contacts!!” was posted on Twitter by David Bentley-Miller on March 1, 2019. “Warning to the person who stole my glasses. I have contacts” was posted on Reddit—Jokes on March 2, 2019.
“To the person who stole my glasses, I will find you. I have contacts” was posted on Reddit—Dadjokes on July 4, 2019.
Twitter
floss my adventures
@johndraperfloss
Someone stole my glasses
I will find you
I have my contacts
1:47 PM · Feb 26, 2019·Facebook
Twitter
David Bentley-Miller
@DBentleyMiller
A warning to the person who stole my glasses. I have contacts!!
2:29 AM · Mar 1, 2019·Twitter for iPhone
Twitter
Sir Boris Johnson
@goddady41
Warning to the person who stole my glasses
I have contacts
10:43 AM · Mar 1, 2019 from Hull, England·Twitter for Android
Reddit—Jokes
Posted by u/twos-company March 2, 2019
Warning to the person who stole my glasses.
I have contacts!
Twitter
Dad Jokes
@Dadsaysjokes
A warning to the person who stole my glasses.
I have contacts!
10:57 AM · Mar 2, 2019·Twitter for iPhone
Reddit—Dadjokes
Posted by u/[deleted] March 8, 2019
To the person who stole my glasses IM WARNING YOU!!
I have contacts
Reddit—Oneliners
Posted by u/madazzahatter March 10, 2019
A warning to the person who stole my glasses, I have contacts.
Reddit—Dadjokes
Posted by u/FinalCaveat July 4, 2019
To the person who stole my glasses, I will find you.
I have contacts.
Twitter
Dad Jokes
@Dadsaysjokes
To the person who stole my glasses.
I will find you, I have contacts!
8:12 AM · Jul 18, 2019·Twitter for iPhone
Reddit—Dadjokes
Posted by u/QuietFalls May 11, 2020
To the person who stole my glasses, I will find you.
I have contacts.
Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006. Now a Popeyes fast food restaurant on Google Maps.
Recent entries:
•
“Oh, the weather outside is frightful, but the wine is so delightful” (5/28)
•
“Has anyone got any tips on cooking asparagus?” (5/28)
•
Entry in progress—BP (5/28)
•
“Remember those who served before. Remember those who are no more…” (Memorial Day poem) (5/28)
•
“Why can’t Christians do trigonometry?"/"Cos Jesus took away their sin.” (5/28)
More new entries...
Above, Big Apple Corner at 54th Street and Broadway in Manhattan. Google Maps.
Above, John J. Fitz Gerald, from the Aug. 15, 1931, Binghamton (NY) Press, pg. 14.
Listen to Robert Emmerich introduce "The Big Apple," a hit song from 1937. Music written by Bob and performed by Tommy Dorsey's Clambake Seven with Bob on piano. Lyrics written by Buddy Bernier and sung by Edythe Wright. Audio provided by Dorothy Emmerich.
Also listen to a 1937 "The Big Apple" song by Ozzie Nelson and his Orchestra. See a 1929 photo of John J. Fitz Gerald and a 1931 photo of John J. Fitz Gerald.
This site is edited by Barry Popik.