A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006.

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Entry from July 15, 2018
“Two whales walk into a bar…” (bar joke)

“A guy walks into a bar...” is a typical form of what has been called the “bar joke.” A whale version has been printed on many images:

“Two whales walk into a bar. The first one says, ‘OUUHHHHWAHHHHHHH OUHHHHHHH AHHHH’ and the second one replies, ‘Shut up Steve, you’re drunk!’”

Versions of “Two whales walk into a bar” have been cited in print since at least 2004.


Straight Dope Message Board
Tell us the stranges, dumbest and most bizarre joke you know!
lightingtool
02-07-2004, 02:31 PM
(...)
Two whales walk into a bar. One whale turns to the other one and says:

eeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuh ... UUUUUUUUH ... eeeeeeek (see, this is the part where you make whale sounds for about 15 minutes. Hopefully, some people start laughing at some point.)

The other whale turns to him and says, “George, what the hell are you doing?”

Yelp—Boston
Melissa M.
Medford, MA

Ok here goes:

Two whales walk into a bar and sit down.  One whale says: AAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIWWWWWWIaiiiwee­eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaa­aaaaeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa­aaeeiiiiiae
The other whale says, “I don’t know what the fuck you’re talkin’ about, man.”
5/30/2009

Twitter
dylanbiles
@dylanbiles
Two whales walk into a bar. One says “muaaaaaaaaoooo muaaaaaaaaoooo.” The other one says, “You’re drunk.”
1:55 PM - 16 Feb 2010

Facebook
The Annandale Cardinals
March 26, 2010 ·
Two whales walk into a bar. The first whale steps up and says “WHAAAAOOO WHAAHHAAHAAAOOOHAAOOOO!” The second whale rolls his eyes and says “Frank, you are fucking drunk.”

Google Groups: rec.music.makers.guitar.jazz
A little Levity
southtexasguitarist
3/29/10
(...)
Two whales walk into a bar, and the bartender says “what’ll you guys
have?” The first whale starts going WOOOOOOOOOOOO
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.... The other whale
turns to the first and says “Frank, I think you’ve already had enough
to drink”

Reddit—Funny
two whales walk into a bar… (self.funny)
submitted November 16, 2010 by nuwisha
The first whale goes up to the bar and asks says “http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WabT1L-nN-E”.
the second whale says “shut up Frank your drunk”.

Reddit—Funny
So Two Whales walk into a bar.... (self.funny)
submitted March 23, 2011 by Pro_Procaster
And The first whale lifts his head back and says “OWEeeEEOOOooOIIIIIIIIIAAAAAOOOOOOOoooooooo”
Then the second one says “Wow, you must be really drunk”

Twitter
Beanjamin Silly
@TheMagicFoolBus
Two whales walk into a bar. The first one says “OoooooaaaOOOaaOOOOHHHHHHoooAAoooOOOOOO”. The second whale says “shut up Fred, you’re drunk”.
3:42 AM - 14 Apr 2011

Reddit—Jokes
So these two whales walk into a bar…
submitted May 20, 2012 by THE_WALRUS_AWESOME
...The first whale says to the bartender,
“whooooooooo- whooooooooooooooo- whoooo- whooooop- whooooooo-”
The second whale says,
“Fred, you’re drunk.”

Reddit—Funny
Two whales walk into a bar. (self.funny)
submitted November 18, 2012 by darkreef2
The bartender asks them what they want. The first whale replies: WOOOOOOWWWWWW WOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEEE WOAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAA WOOOOO The second whale says: “Frank, you’re drunk”.

Reddit—Jokes
Two whales walk into a bar.
submitted April 22, 2013 by VanquisherLeague
The bartender asks what he can get them.
The first whale says “WOOOOOOWWWWWWWOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEEE WWONNNKKKKKWOAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAWOOOOO.”
The second whale says “damn it Frank you’re already drunk.”

Reddit—Jokes
Whales in a bar
submitted July 13, 2013 by MuffinSnatcher14
Two whales walk into a bar. The first one says, “OUUHHHHWAHHHHHHH OUHHHHHHH AHHHH” and the second one replies, “Shut up Steve, you’re drunk!”

Reddit—Jokes
Two whales walk into a bar
submitted October 18, 2015 by noahcoda
One goes braarar the other one says go home Dave your drunk.

Twitter
Shit Jokes
@ShitJokes
Two whales walk into a bar. The first one says, “Weeeeeooooouuuhhhh”. The next whale says, “Shut up, Steve. You’re drunk.”
3:33 PM - 10 Aug 2016

Google Books
3000 Jokes, 2997 Laughs
By Mike Haskins
London, UK: Portico
2017
Pg. ?:
Two whales walk into a bar. The first whale says, ‘Weeeeeooooouuuhhhh!’ The other whale tells him, ‘Do shut up, Kevin. You’re drunk again.’

Posted by Barry Popik
New York CityRestaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores • Sunday, July 15, 2018 • Permalink