New York-based comedian Henny Youngman (1906-1998) was known as the “king of the one-liners” and often told jokes about his marriage, usually introduced with, “Take my wife—please!” For his fortieth wedding anniversary in 1968, Youngman told the formula for his successful marriage:
 
“We dine out twice a week with candles and wine. She goes on Tuesday and I go on Friday!”
   
The line became part of Youngman’s act and he told it frequently. However, the joke might not be his.
 
American comedian and actor Allan Drake (1921-1986) told the same joke in “My Favorite Jokes” for Parade magazine (a Sunday newspaper supplement) in January 1964. The joke appeared again in Parade in a December 1964 collection of the year’s best jokes.
     
 
Wikipedia: Henny Youngman
Henry “Henny” Youngman (original Yiddish surname Yungman; 16 March 1906 – 24 February 1998) was a British-born American comedian and violinist famous for his mastery of the “one-liner”. His best known one-liner was “Take my wife…please”.
 
In a time when many comedians told elaborate anecdotes, Youngman’s routine consisted of telling simple one-liner jokes, occasionally with interludes of violin playing. These depicted simple, cartoon-like situations, eliminating lengthy build-ups and going straight to the punch line. He was known as “The King of the One Liners”, a title conferred to him by columnist Walter Winchell. A stage performance by Youngman lasted only fifteen to twenty minutes but contained dozens of jokes in rapid-fire succession.
 
19 January 1964, Cedar Rapids (IA) Gazette, “My Favorite Jokes” by Allan Drake, Parade magazine, pg. 14, col. 3:
“My wife and I have been happily married for 12 years,” said a man to his friend at a stag party. “We go out twice a week, have steak, imported wine, soft music and candlelight.”
 
“Gee!” exclaimed his friend with admiration. “That’s wonderful.”
 
“It sure is,” answered the married man. “She goes out on Tuesdays, and I go out on Fridays.”
 
27 December 1964, San Antonio (TX) Light, “1964’s Best Jokes” by Milton Berle, Parade magazine, pg. 15, col. 2:
by Allan Drake
“My wife and I have been happily married for 12 years,” said a man to his friend at a stag party. “We go out twice a week, have steak, imported wine, soft music and candlelight.”
 
“Gee!” exclaimed his friend with admiration. “That’s wonderful.”
 
“It sure is,” answered the married man. “She goes out on Tuesdays, and I go out on Fridays.”
 
26 April 1968, Omaha (NE) World-Herald, Irv Kupcinet column (Chicago Sun-Times Service), pg. 49, col. 3:
Comedian Henny Youngman and his wife are celebrating their fortieth wedding anniversary. Henny’s explanation of his successful marriage: “We dine out twice a week with candles and wine. She goes on Tuesday and I go on Friday!”
 
18 November 1968, Aberdeen (SD) American-News, “Earl Wilson’s New York,” pg. 4, col. 5:
HENNY YOUNGMAN, married 40 years, tells how he did it: “My wife and I still dine out twice a week—candles, violins, everything. She goes Tuesday, I go Friday.”
 
2 July 1972, Sunday Advocate (Baton Rouge, LA), “My Favorite Jokes” by Henny Youngman, Parade magazine, pg. 15, col. 1:
People ask me how I’ve stayed married for so long—44 years. Here’s the secret: My wife and I go to a lovely, romantic restaurant twice a week. A little candlelight, a little wine. She goes Tuesdays. I go Thursdays!
 
14 November 1982, Seattle (WA) Times, “Youngman takes his one-liners to the bank” by Paul Andrews, pg. E2, col. 1:
In fact, they’ve been married 54 years. What’s the secret? “We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays; I go Fridays.”
     
Google Books
Behind the Tent Flaps:
What You Never Heard But Need to Know about Marriage
By Stephen T. Wyatt
Joplin, MO: College Press Pub.
1997
Pg. 227:
Henny Youngman says: “Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays. ”
 
Google Books
Jewish Jesters:
A Study in American Popular Comedy
By Arthur Asa Berger
Cresskill, NJ: Hampton Press
2001
Pg. 55:
The reason my wife and I have been happily married for forty years is because we go out to dinner once a week . . . some candlelight, a little wine, soft music. . . . I go out on Friday night and she goes on Saturday.
   
Google Books
Words of Love:
Quotations from the Heart
By Allen Klein
Berkeley, CA: Viva Editions
2012
Pg. ?:
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays. I go Fridays.
HENNY YOUNGMAN
 
Twitter
Jewish Comedians
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Henny Youngman: The secret of our long marriage? We take time to go to dinner two times a week. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
2:54 PM - 1 Nov 2015