“What do you call a drunk…?” appears to be the start of a joke. However, the answer is an anti-joke. The person is too drunk to get home, so you call a taxi or a Lyft (car service) or an Uber (car service).
     
“What do you call a drunk girl you’ve just shagged? A taxi” was posted on Twitter by A¢AB Rocky on May 4, 2012. “What do you call a drunk blonde? A taxi” was posted on Twitter by Shank Lofty on October 21, 2012.
     
“What do you call a drunk black guy at the bar? an Uber” was posted on Reddit—AntiJokes on February 14, 2017. “What do you call a drunk person trying to unlock their car? An uber please” was posted on Twitter on July 18, 2020.
     
“What do you call a drunk guy trying to start his car? A lyft. Friends don’t let friends drive drunk” was posted on Reddit—Jokes on September 1, 2019.
 
     
Twitter
A¢AB Rocky
@ewanshearer
What do you call a drunk girl you’ve just shagged?
A taxi.
5:28 AM · May 4, 2012·Twitter for iPhone
 
Twitter
Shank Lofty
@ShankLofty
What do you call a drunk blonde? A taxi. #TopBloke101 #NotTakingAdvantage #ProbablyWouldn’tAcually
7:22 PM · Oct 21, 2012·Twitter for Android
       
Twitter
Francesca Meek
@VivaLaFrankee
What do you call a drunk blonde? A taxi.
2:54 AM · Oct 23, 2012·Twitter SMS
 
Twitter
Huge Jackpot King
@hugejackpot
From AntiJokeBook: What do you call a drunk black man on the side of the road?
A taxi.
6:01 PM · Feb 15, 2013·IFTTT
   
Twitter
Anti Joke Seal
@AntiJokeSeal
What do you call a drunk Asian man?
A taxi, because it is unsafe to drive when you are drunk.
6:31 PM · May 17, 2013·Buffer
   
Reddit—AntiJokes
Posted by u/Crooked_Cricket February 14, 2017
What do you call a drunk black guy at the bar?
an Uber
 
Twitter
Pirate World
@RaverBaba
What do you call a drunk black guy at the bar? :
an Uber
submitted by /u/Crooked_Cricket[link] [comments] #funny #jokes #humor #oneliner
2:48 PM · Feb 14, 2017·IFTTT
   
Twitter
milky
@markcukier
What do you call a drunk woman? An uber so she can get home safely #respectwomen2017
9:41 PM · Sep 4, 2017·Twitter for iPhone
   
Twitter
Jarred
@Fugleberg420
What do you call a drunk woman?    You Call her an uber and tell her to get home safe.
10:13 PM · Sep 4, 2017·Twitter for iPhone
     
Reddit—Jokes
Posted by u/Orgrimarcus September 1, 2019
What do you call a drunk guy trying to start his car?
A lyft. Friends don’t let friends drive drunk.
 
Twitter
Dustan Miller
@DustanMiller
What do you call a drunk guy trying to start his car?
An Uber, be a good person.
1:34 AM · Sep 1, 2019·Twitter for iPhone
     
Sickipedia
What do you call a drunk girl with jizz in her hair?
A taxi
Joke by MoneyBadger in Sex and Shit - Pulling ·June 10, 2020
 
Reddit—Jokes
Posted by u/Po1sonator July 18, 2020
What do you call a drunk person trying to unlock their car?
An uber please.