A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006.

Recent entries:
Entry forthcoming (11/13)
“Give a man a duck and he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to duck and he won’t walk into a bar” (11/13)
“Give a man a duck and he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to duck & he’ll avoid low flying objects” (11/13)
“If I had a dollar for every time I didn’t know what was going on…” (joke) (11/13)
“A model railroad is never finished” (adage) (11/13)
More new entries...

A  B  C  D  E  F  G  H  I  J  K  L  M  N  O  P  Q  R  S  T  U  V  W  X  Y  Z


Entry from May 05, 2018
“What do you call a short musician in the subway?"/"A metro-gnome.”

"Metronome” should not be confused with “metro gnome,” but there have been many jokes. A “Metro Gnome” joke was posted on the newsgroup alt.callahans on November 13, 1999. A riddle was posted on the newsgroup alt.humor on February 1, 2002:

Q: What do you call a short, dwarven man who, while riding the New York Subway, sings a song that keeps tempo with the speed of the trains?
A: A metro-gnome.


Some jokes do not involve music. “Metro Gnome - a short person riding the subway” was posted on Twitter on September 6, 2013. “What Do You Call A Dwarf on a Subway? A Metro Gnome!” was posted on Reddit—3amjokes on April 27, 2016.

Usually, the jokes do involve music. “What do you call a short musician in the subway? A metro-gnome. @music_problems” was posted on Twitter on July 22, 2012. “Little guy playing music in a subway: metro-gnome” was posted on Twitter on November 27, 2014. “What do you call a midget playing drums in a subway? A metro-gnome” was posted on Reddit—Jokes on August 5, 2017.


Wikipedia: Metronome
A metronome is a device that produces an audible click or other sound at a regular interval that can be set by the user, typically in beats per minute (BPM). Musicians use the device to practice playing to a regular pulse. Metronomes typically include synchronized visual motion (e.g., swinging pendulum or blinking lights).

Google Groups: alt.callahans
music
MIC...@maine
11/13/89
(...)
And, as a further cymbal of a trebled mind:

A visitor to the city of Washington DC had occasion each morning to ride the subway. The first morning he was there, the visitor observed the usual chaos when a train would pull up to the platform and aspiring passengers jostled for position. But then, just before the doors opened, a short, bearded man walked to the head of the platform and proceeded to clap his hands in rythme. When the doors opened, the passengers filed on to the train in smart marching order, as though on parade! The visitor wondered at this. After observing this phenomenon for a few days, the visitor finally asked a ticket attendent who the little man was and why people seemed to obey him. To which the attendent replied:

“Oh yeah, him. He’s the Metro Gnome.”

Google Books
The Metrognome and Other Stories
Alan Dean Foster
Random House, Jul 1, 1990 - Fiction - 243 pages
Forget what you thought you knew about the universe and enter the fantastic world of master storyteller Alan Dean Foster . . . OPERATOR ASSISTED CALLS ARE CHARGED AT A HIGHER RATE. Mr. Parkworthy had a score to settle with the telephone company, and he was a man used to getting his own way. But he should have remembered that it is not polite to be rude to a lady . . . especially when the lady is Ma Bell. THE METROGNOME. Charlie Dimsdale was only a little man in the company that ran New York City’s subways . . . until some odd little denizens of the city’s subterranean tunnels showed him who was really in charge!

Google Groups: alt.humor
Puns of the Weak 02/01/02
Stan Kegel
2/1/02
(...)
What do you call a short, dwarven man who, while riding the New York Subway, sings a song that keeps tempo with the speed of the trains?
A metro-gnome. (David Bunch)

Google Groups: rec.music.makers.guitar.acoustic
Metronome question
Mästerkatten
12/8/05
I always thought a Metro Gnome was a creature that lived under the
subway tracks in Paris.
Steve in FLA

Twitter
Peter Violini
@petarvee
Oh god, damn english language made me think of “what do you call a midget on the subway?” “a metro-gnome” WHY GOD WHY
11:49 AM - 3 Jul 2009

Twitter
hosHanna
@Hanna__Peters
What do you call a short musician in the subway? A metro-gnome. @music_problems
12:30 AM - 22 Jul 2012

Twitter
#MusicProblems
@music_problems
What do you call a short musician in the subway? A metro-gnome #musicjokes Submitted by @trumpianellsgal
11:39 AM - 23 Jul 2012

Twitter
Ned Zeppelin
@DrKevinLynch
Metronome - a device to keep tempo
Metro Gnome - a short person riding the subway
1:15 PM - 6 Sep 2013

Twitter
Tim Brooks
@elephantnavel
Little guy playing music in a subway: metro-gnome.
12:00 AM - 27 Nov 2014

Twitter
Juliana Sutliff
@JulianaSutliff
What do you call a mythical creature on the subway?  A METRO-GNOME
1:48 PM - 13 May 2015 from Ohio, USA

Reddit—Jokes
What do you call a midget in a subway saying, “tick...tick...tick...”?
submitted November 28, 2015 by zakmaniscool
A metro-gnome

Reddit—3amjokes
What Do You Call A Dwarf on a Subway? self.3amjokes
Submitted April 27, 2016 by ghawdex50
A Metro Gnome!

Twitter
AJ
@PailOfPepper
What do got call a little person who works on a subway?
a metro-gnome
4:43 PM - 18 Aug 2016

Reddit—Dad Jokes
What do you call an elf who rides the subway and is always on time. (self.dadjokes)
submitted May 30, 2017 by BooBooDingDing
A metro-gnome.

Reddit—Jokes
What do you call a midget playing drums in a subway?
submitted August 5, 2017 by Polcio
A metro-gnome

Reddit—Jokes
A pianist performing in a subway terminal…
submitted May 5, 2018 by jester_fool_
was playing beautifully. I was only offput by the weird looking kid with a dunce cap sitting atop the piano.

Suddenly, the weird looking kid with the dunce cap jumped up and scurried off. The piano player abruptly stopped playing.

I asked him, “why did you stop playing?”

To which he replied, “I cannot play piano without my metro-gnome.”

(Trademark)
Word Mark METRO GNOMES
Goods and Services IC 028. US 022 023 038 050. G & S: collectable doll figures and fictional story books, sold together as a unit. FIRST USE: 19941123. FIRST USE IN COMMERCE: 19941123
Mark Drawing Code (1) TYPED DRAWING
Serial Number 74610278
Filing Date December 12, 1994
Current Basis 1A
Original Filing Basis 1A
Published for Opposition October 31, 1995
Registration Number 1950835
Registration Date January 23, 1996
Owner (REGISTRANT) Soet, Barbara E. INDIVIDUAL UNITED STATES 360 Taos N.E. Ada MICHIGAN 49301
Attorney of Record TERRY S. CALLAGHAN
Type of Mark TRADEMARK
Register PRINCIPAL
Affidavit Text SECT 15. SECT 8 (6-YR). SECTION 8(10-YR) 20151114.
Renewal 2ND RENEWAL 20151114
Live/Dead Indicator LIVE

(Trademark)
Word Mark METROGNOME
Goods and Services IC 025. US 022 039. G & S: CLOTHING, NAMELY, T-SHIRTS, TANK TOPS, LONG-SLEEVED SHIRTS, BODYSUITS, SHORTS AND CYCLING SHORTS
Standard Characters Claimed
Mark Drawing Code (4) STANDARD CHARACTER MARK
Serial Number 87559369
Filing Date August 7, 2017
Current Basis 1B
Original Filing Basis 1B
Published for Opposition December 19, 2017
Owner (APPLICANT) Stanley B. Wiegand INDIVIDUAL UNITED STATES 449A N. Oakhusrt Dr. Beverly Hills CALIFORNIA 90210
Attorney of Record Gregory S. Lampert
Type of Mark TRADEMARK
Register PRINCIPAL
Live/Dead Indicator LIVE

Posted by Barry Popik
New York CityMusic/Dance/Theatre/Film/Circus • Saturday, May 05, 2018 • Permalink