A popular lawyer joke is:
   
Q.  What is the ideal weight of a lawyer?
A.  About three pounds, including the urn.
 
The joke has been cited in print since at least 1994.
 
     
Google Books   
The Postal Supervisor
Volume 83
1992 (Google Books date may be incorrect.—ed.)
Pg. 96:
The best one I have heard lately is: What is the ideal weight of a lawyer? It is two-and-a-half-pounds including the urn.
   
Google Groups: rec.humor
Lawyer joke alert!
thomas rinkevich
3/14/94
JASON DONALD WRIGHT (.(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)) wrote:
: In article <2li3a3$p…@char.vnet.net>

, .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) (Stephen E. Engel) wr
: ites:
: >
: > Q.  What is the ideal weight of a lawyer?
: >
: > A.  About three pounds, including the urn.
: >
 
: Who’d bother with the urn?
 
Google Groups: alt.humor
THE WORLD’S FUNNIEST JOKE
Dr. Jai Maharaj
10/5/02
(...)
How much does the very best lawyer weigh? 5 lbs, if you include the urn.
 
Google Books
A Treasury of Gross Jokes
By Julius Alvin
New York, NY: Kensington Books
2003
Pg. ?:
What is the ideal weight for every lawyer?
Three pounds, including the urn.
 
Google Books
And I Was Told
By Aiyana
Lincoln, NE: iUniverse
2005
Pg. 22:
“What is a lawyer’s ideal weight? About five pounds including the urn.”
 
Google Books
Jokes and Targets
By Christie Davies
Bloomington, IN: Indiana University Press
2011
Pg. 210:
What is the ideal weight for a lawyer?
About three pounds, including the urn.
   
Twitter
Funny Tweets
‏@funny24h
Q: What is the ideal weight of a lawyer?
A: About three pounds, including the urn.
12:20 PM - 24 Mar 2016