“When I was in the army I killed more men than anybody. I was the cook” is a classic joke.
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“When I was in the army I killed four hundred men. I was the cook” was printed in a 1907 book. “‘When I was in the Army I killed 500 men,’ said Henny Youngman. “I was the cook’” was printed in the Knoxville (TN) News-Sentinel on March 21, 1958.
Google Books
“I’m from Texas, You Can’t Steer Me”:
Thos. W. Jackson’s Fourth Trip Slower Than Ever
By Thomas William Jackson
Chicago, IL: Thomas W. Jackson
1907
Pg. 61:
When I was in the army I killed four hundred men. I was the cook.
Newspapers.com
19 July 1919, The St. Tammany Farmer (Covington, LA), “Great Sayings By Nobody,” pg. 1, col. 7:
When I was in the Army I killed more men than anybody. I was the cook.
Newspapers.com
21 March 1958, Knoxville (TN) News-Sentinel, “Enter, Laughing” by Harriet Van Horne, pg. 15, col. 4L
“When I was in the Army I killed 500 men,” said Henny Youngman. “I was the cook.”
Twitter
Bob Kostic
@causticbob
I was arguing with some bloke in the pub and he squared up to me. I said, “You better watch yourself pal, when I was in the Army I killed men.”
My wife said, “But you were in the Catering Corps.”
I replied, “Yeah, but I’m not a very good cook.”
8:28 AM · Jul 22, 2018·Twitter Web Client
Twitter
Kataris
@Kataris_S9
Replying to @Tactical_review
When i was in the army i killed 39 people. My commanding officer said i was the worst cook he’s ever seen.
4:54 AM · Feb 4, 2019·Twitter for iPhone
Twitter
G-monkey
@stoopidmonkey44
My Dad: When I was in the Army I killed hundreds of men…..
Me: Wait a sec, I thought you were a cook?
My Dad: I was, a really, really bad cook…..
6:26 PM · Mar 31, 2019·Twitter for Android
Twitter
Bob Kostic
@causticbob
I was arguing with some bloke in the pub and he squared up to me. I said, “You better watch yourself pal, when I was in the Army I killed men.”
My wife said, “But you were in the Catering Corps.”
I replied, “Yeah, but I’m not a very good cook.”
6:27 PM · Jul 20, 2020·Twitter Web App
Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006. Now a Popeyes fast food restaurant on Google Maps.
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Above, Big Apple Corner at 54th Street and Broadway in Manhattan. Google Maps. Stolen and missing, 2021-2024.
Above, John J. Fitz Gerald, from the Aug. 15, 1931, Binghamton (NY) Press, pg. 14.
Listen to Robert Emmerich introduce "The Big Apple," a hit song from 1937. Music written by Bob and performed by Tommy Dorsey's Clambake Seven with Bob on piano. Lyrics written by Buddy Bernier and sung by Edythe Wright. Audio provided by Dorothy Emmerich.
Also listen to a 1937 "The Big Apple" song by Ozzie Nelson and his Orchestra. See a 1929 photo of John J. Fitz Gerald and a 1931 photo of John J. Fitz Gerald.
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