How hot is it in Texas? So hot that “you realize that asphalt has a liquid state.”
That joke (among many others) has been circulating around the internet since at least 1998.
Stanford Texas Club: Humor
You Know You’re In Texas When…
You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
It’s So Hot In Texas That…
You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
Google Groups: alt.books.deryni
From: kim
Date: Sat, Aug 22 1998 12:00 am
My mother-in-law sent this, I hope you all enjoy it.
Kim
Texas gets pretty warm in the summer…
YOU KNOW YOU’RE IN TEXAS WHEN…
You discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car…
You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water…
You can say 110 degrees without fainting…
You eat hot chili to cool your mouth off…
You can make sun tea instantly…
You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron…
You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance…
Hotter water comes from the cold water tap than the hot one…
It’s noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is moving on the streets…
You actually burn your hand opening the car door…
Sunscreen is sold year round, kept at the front of the checkout counter.
A formula less than 30 SPF is a joke and you only wear that to go to the corner store…
Hot air balloons can’t go
No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car.
Your biggest bicycle wreck fear, “what if I get knocked out and lay on the pavement and cook to death”?
You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006. Now a Popeyes fast food restaurant on Google Maps.
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Above, Big Apple Corner at 54th Street and Broadway in Manhattan. Google Maps. Stolen and missing, 2021-2024.
Above, John J. Fitz Gerald, from the Aug. 15, 1931, Binghamton (NY) Press, pg. 14.
Listen to Robert Emmerich introduce "The Big Apple," a hit song from 1937. Music written by Bob and performed by Tommy Dorsey's Clambake Seven with Bob on piano. Lyrics written by Buddy Bernier and sung by Edythe Wright. Audio provided by Dorothy Emmerich.
Also listen to a 1937 "The Big Apple" song by Ozzie Nelson and his Orchestra. See a 1929 photo of John J. Fitz Gerald and a 1931 photo of John J. Fitz Gerald.
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