Recent entries:
Great Plains (11/11)
Texas Twinkies (bacon and brisket wrapped cream cheese-filled jalapeño poppers) (10/20)
“Cowboys don’t roll joints. They tumble weed” (9/1)
Hillbilly (Hill Billy) (8/14)
“If a cowboy dies and comes back to life, is it called reintarnation?” (7/19)
More new entries...

The Lone Star State. An etymological dictionary investigating the origins of Texas words, names, quotations and phrases, specializing in modern slang, nicknames, slogans, proverbs, adages and aphorisms. A web site by Barry Popik.

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“If all the Texas steers were one steer, he would have his front feet in the Gulf of Mexico…” (6/27)
“If all you ever do is all you’ve ever done, then all you’ll get is all you ever got” (5/21)
“If dumb were dirt, you would be about an acre” (1/5)
“If English was good enough for Jesus, it’s good enough for Texas” (8/10)
“If God didn’t want us to eat meat, he wouldn’t have invented steak sauce” (11/27)
“If God had wanted Texans to ski, He would have given them mountains” (10/14)
“If God isn’t a Longhorn, why is the sunset burnt orange?” (10/1)
“If I owned Texas and Hell, I would rent Texas and live in Hell” (Philip Sheridan) (11/17)
“If I tell you a hen dips snuff, you can look under its wing” (1/31)
“If ifs and buts were candy and nuts, we’d all have a merry Christmas” (11/28)
“If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” (12/2)
“If it can’t be found in Dallas, it can’t be found anywhere in the world” (6/1)
“If it doesn’t say ‘Texas,’ it’s not Texas Roadhouse” (restaurant slogan) (11/27)
“If it grows, it will stick you; If it crawls, it will bite you” (7/15)
“If it looks like a taco and smells like a fish…” (Fuzzy’s Taco Shop in Fort Worth) (6/18)
“If it’s inevitable, relax and enjoy it” (said of Texas weather) (8/28)
“If the good Lord’s willin’ (and the creeks don’t rise)” (2/22)
“If worms carried pistols, birds wouldn’t eat ‘em” (8/23)
“If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, riddle them with bullets” (8/9)
“If you can’t take their money…and vote against them, you don’t belong in the legislature” (10/27)
“If you cut Alaska in half, Texas is the third largest state” (9/6)
“If you don’t have an oil well, get one!” (Eddie Chiles of Western Company) (8/22)
“If you don’t like our wings, we’ll give you the bird” (Pluckers) (3/13)
“If you don’t like the weather, wait five minutes” (weather saying) (8/9)
“If you know beans about chili, you know that chili has no beans” (1976) (9/21)
“If you see a turtle on a fence, he had help getting there” (11/19)
“If you snooze, you lose” (8/20)
“If you think you can, you can” (Mary Kay Ash?) (9/24)
“If you took all the fools out of the Lege, it wouldn’t be a representative body” (10/28)
“In queso emergency, go to your nearest TexMex restaurant” (5/21)
“In queso emergency, I pray to Cheesus” (5/21)
“Ingredients for Life” & “Your Remarkable Store” (Randalls slogans) (9/7)
“Isn’t Texas cute?” (Alaskan T-shirt) (9/20)
“It always rains at the end of a long dry spell” (weather joke) (10/24)
“It doesn’t matter how much milk you spill, as long as you don’t lose the cow” (8/9)
“It looks like a toothpick in a pie” (J. Frank Dobie on UT tower) (8/22)
“It’s 110 degrees, but it’s a dry heat” (Texas heat joke) (8/17)
“It’s a good book, but everyone gets killed in the end” (Pete Gent on Dallas Cowboys playbook) (10/1)
“It’s a Texas Thing” ("It’s a Texas Thang") (1/26)
“It’s always better to be a pallbearer than to be a body” (11/16)
“It’s been one hell of a party” (Larry McMurtry’s “Lonesome Dove") (10/7)
“It’s More Bueno” (Taco Bueno) (6/30)
“It’s often hard to discern the difference between Texas Tough and Texas Stupid” (Molly Ivins) (7/11)
“It’s so dry, the birds are building their nests out of barbed wire” (Texas heat joke) (8/28)
“It’s so dry, the catfish are carrying canteens” (Texas heat joke) (8/28)
“It’s so hot, the hens are laying hard-boiled eggs” (Texas heat joke) (10/6)
“It’s so hot, the trees are whistling for dogs” (heat joke) (8/17)
“It’s the last thing you take off and the first thing that is noticed” (cowboy hat) (3/12)
“Just a two-step back in time” (Coupland Inn and Dancehall) (3/6)
“Just Like You Like It” (Whataburger slogan) (11/26)
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