A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006. Now a Popeyes fast food restaurant on Google Maps.

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Entries in the category Education/Schools
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“Why do we use protractors in geometry?”/“Because amateur tractors don’t know what they’re doing!”
“Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?”/“Because they can spend years at C.”
“Why doesn’t the sun go to college?”/“Because it has a million degrees.”
“Why don’t communists ever learn?”/“Because there are no classes.”
“Why don’t they allow donkeys in school?”/“Because no one likes a smart ass.”
“Why is 6 afraid of 7?”/“Because 7 8 9.”
“Why is 6 afraid of 7?”/“Because 7 is a registered 6 offender”
“Why is gravity so cheap?”/“Because it’s mass-produced.”
“Why is it so easy to get into pirate college?”/“Because you only need the high C’s.”
“Why is nostalgia like grammar?”/“We find the present tense and the past perfect.”
“Why is the letter ‘C’ afraid of the rest of the alphabet?”/“All the other letters are Not-Cs.”
“Why is the prostitute good with math?”/“Because it’s the thot that counts.”
“Why was the cannibal expelled from school?”/“Because he was buttering up his teacher.”
“Why was the circle depressed?”/“She thought her life was pointless.”
“Why was the math book sad?”/“Because it had so many problems.”
“Why was the math teacher late for school?”/“He took the rhombus.”
“Why was the music teacher angry?”/“Because the kids were always passing notes.”
“Why was the student’s report card wet?”/“Because his grades were below C-level.”
“Winning is a trophy, failing is an education”
“Work while they sleep. Learn while they party. Save while they spend. Live like they dream”
“Working with academics is like herding cats” (education adage)
“Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn’t find anyone to copy it from”
“Would you send your son to a school run by someone who insisted on being called ‘Headmaster?’”
“Yo mama is so dark, she went to night school and was marked absent”
“Yo mama is so fat, when she was in school she sat next to everybody”
“You are your child’s first teacher”
“You can buy education, but wisdom is a gift from God”
“You can’t learn to swim by reading a book”
“You can’t learn to swim in a library”
“You got stung by a bee? Why didn’t you get stung by an A?”
“You have to question the modus operandi of people who use Latin for no reason”
“You learn to read, and then you read to learn”
“You Matter. Unless you multiply yourself by the speed of light squared. Then you Energy”
“You Matter. Until you multiply yourself by the speed of light squared. Then you Energy”
“You want to be too sick for school, but well enough to play video games”
“You’re like school in July—no class”
“You’re never too old to learn something stupid”
“You’re so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school, she was fined for littering”
“Your best teacher is your last mistake”
“Your child may be an honor student, but you’re still an idiot” (bumper sticker)
“Your mind is a garden, your thoughts are the seeds…”
A Crappy Test (“ACT” backronym)
Algebro (algebra + bro)
All But Dissertation (ABD)
Always Seek Knowledge (“ask” backronym)
Asiantation (Asian + orientation)
Bachelor of Fuck All (Bachelor of Fine Arts or BFA backronym)
Bears (New York Institute of Technology teams)
Beavers (CCNY teams)
Beducator (bed + educator)
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