J-E-T-S (Just End The Season)

J-E-T-S (Just End The Suffering)

J-E-T-S (Just Exit The Stadium)

"I heard a really funny joke at our mandatory meeting at work" (joke)

J. P. Moron (JPMorgan Chase nickname)

J & R

Jabbatoir (vaccination site)

Jabbo (vaccine jab)

Jabby Dodger or Jabbydodger (vaccination jab + dodger)

Jabbydodger or Jabby Dodger (vaccination jab + dodger)

Jabcab (ambulance)

Jabits Center (Javits Center used as a vaccination site)

"Jack and Jill work together in an office (joke)

Jack Frost

Jack (GAC=grilled American cheese); Jack Benny/Jack Back (grilled American cheese with bacon)

Jack Heights (Jackson Heights)

Jack in the Crack (Jack in the Box nickname)

Jack Rose (cocktail)

Jackalope Dog (hot dog of rabbit, antelope and pork)

"Jackie has 2 bottles of wine. She buys 2 more. What does Jackie have now? Happiness"

Jackpot Fatigue

Jacobs Beach (West 49th Street and Eighth Avenue)

Jacob's Rail (Veloway in Austin)

Jacques Penné or Jean Claude Penné or Jacques Pennay (JCPenney nickname)

JAG (Just A Guy)

Jaikishan Heights (Jackson Heights)

Jail Bait (Jail-bait; Jailbait)

"Jailed musicians anxiously await their next release"

Jalapeño (State Pepper)

Jalapeno Bottle Caps (Jalapeno Bottlecaps)

Jalapeño Chicken (Chinese restaurant recipe)

Jalapeño Cornbread (Jalapeño Corn Bread)

Jalapeño Cream Cheese

Jalapeño Jelly

Jalapeño Pie

Jalapeño Soup (Cream of Jalapeño Soup; Avocado-Jalapeño Soup; Potato Jalapeño Soup)

Jalapiña (drink)

Jamaican (inhabitant of Jamaica, Queens)

Jambalaya

James Cagney Love Scene

"James Joyce walks into a bar..." (bar joke)

JAMS (Jamaica Arts and Music Summer Festival)

Jamwich (jam + sandwich)

Jana Hunsaker Memorial Wheelchair Tennis Tournament

"Janet Street-Porter walks into a bar..." (bar joke)

JANFU (Joint Army Navy Foul-Up)

"Janitors who work in skyscrapers are high maintenance"

"Janssen wants to see you!" (Janssen's Hofbrau Haus)

"January is the Monday of the year"

"January (n.) A giant Monday"

"January was a tough year, but we made it through"

Japanese Horseradish (wasabi)

Japs (short for "jalapeños")

Jargarita (jar + margarita)

Jaspers (Manhattan College teams)

Jassack Band (Jackass Band; Jazzack)

Jassack (jackass)

JAVax (Javits Center used as a vaccination site; Javits + vax)

Javelina or Jabalina or Javalina or Mexican hog (collared peccary)

Jawbreaker (sandwich)

Jaywalker (Jay Walker); Jaywalking (Jay Walking)

Jazz Brunch

JCPenneystock (JCPenney nickname)

JD (chocolate milk)

"Jeet jet?" / "No, jew?"

"Jeff, a semicolon, and an Oxford comma walk into a bar..." (bar joke)

"Jeffrey Epstein Didn't Kill Himself" (EDKH or JEDKH)

Jefftown (Jefferson Avenue, Bushwick, Brooklyn)

"Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate Halloween" (joke)

"Jello is just boneless bones"

Jelly Bean

"Jellybeans imply the existence of peanut butter beans"

Jenga Building (56 Leonard Street)

"Jenga is the most depressing game. There are no winners. Just one loser who fucks everything up"

"Jerk Chicken: Shut the fuck up. Chicken Tender: *just starts crying*"

Jerkocrat (jerk + bureaucrat/Democrat)

JerryWorld or Jerry World or Jerry's World (Dallas Cowboys Stadium in Arlington)

Jerrydome or Jerry Dome (Dallas Cowboys Stadium in Arlington)

Jerrytron (Cowboys Stadium television screen, named after owner Jerry Jones)

Jersey Breakfast or Triple Bypass (Taylor Pork Roll, Egg & Cheese)

Jersey Italian Gravy

Jersey Lightning

Jersey Lightning (cocktail; punch)

"Jesus and his disciples walk into a restaurant..."

Jesus Chicken (Chick-fil-A nickname)

Jesus fucking Murphy (exclamation)

Jesus H. Murphy (exclamation)

"Jesus holds up the bread..." (joke)

"Jesus is the reason for the season" (Christmas saying)

Jesus Murphy (exclamation)

Jesus Murphy and Joseph (exclamation)

"Jesus saves, but the Mongol hordes" ("Jesus saves, but the Mongol hoards")

"Jesus Saves, Moses Invests"

"Jesus turns water into wine. I turn wine into vomit"

"Jesus walks into a bar..." (bar joke)

"Jesus walks into a bar. The barman looks up..." (bar joke)

"Jesus wasn't a socialist. He actually fed people"

"Jet lag is for amateurs"

"Jet ski hair, don't care"

JetFU (JetBlue nickname)

Jets (NFL football team)

Jevver (did you ever)

Jew Gardens (Kew Gardens)

Jew World Order (Jew + New World Order); JWO

Jew York (Jew + New York); Hymietown

Jew York Times (New York Times nickname)

Jewdiciary (Jew + judiciary)

Jewel in the Valley Crown (McAllen slogan)

Jewel of Jamaica (Rochdale Village)

Jewel of the Corridor (San Marcos slogan)

Jewel of the Forest (Jasper slogan)

Jewel of the Highland Lakes (Lake Travis)

Jewel of the Texas Hill Country (Fredericksburg slogan)

Jewel of the Texas Panhandle (Santa Fe Railroad Building in Amarillo)

Jewgle or Joogle (Jew + Google)

Jewish Alps (Washington Heights)

Jewish Champagne (Dr. Brown's Cel-Ray Soda, seltzer)

"Jewish dropout: A boy who didn't get his Ph.D."

Jewish Fruitcake or Jewish Gingerbread (lekach - honey cake)

Jewish Glitter (the toppings on an everything bagel)

Jewish Penicillin

Jewish Piano (a cash register)

Jewish Rye Bread

Jewish Telegram ("Start worrying -- details to follow")

Jewish Time

Jewish Woodstock

Jewluminati or Jewlluminati or Jooluminati (Jew + Illuminati)

"Jews are news"

"Jews earn like Episcopalians and vote like Puerto Ricans"

"Jews is news"

Jewtropolis (Jew + metropolis)

JewTube or JooTube (Jew + YouTube)

Jewyorican or Juyorican (Jew + Nuyorican)

Jexit (Jewish/Jews + exit)

Jexodus (Jewish/Jews + exodus)

Jezebel Sauce

Jianbing (Chinese crepes)

Jiaozi (Chinese dumpling)

Jibjab (vaccine jab)

Jimmy Award (National High School Musical Theater Award)

"Jimmy Buffett implies the existence of Jimmy A La Carte"

Jimplecute (Jimpsecute)

"Jingle bell rock implies the existence of jingle bell paper and jingle bell scissors"

"Jingle bell rock implies the existence of jingle bell ska"

"Jingle bells, Batman smells"

Jingle Mail

JINO (Jewish In Name Only)

Jints (Giants)

Jitterbug (Jitter Bug)

Jo Jo Potatoes (JoJo Potatoes)

Job Lock (Joblock)

"Job: n. temporary employment taken for short term needs"

"Job offers be like: 'We need a virgin with 2 years experience in sex'"

"Job offers be like: 'We need a virgin with 2 years of sexual experience'"

Jobber (job + truther; a jobs number conspiracy theorist)

"Jobs are like relationships. You have them, you cry about it. You don’t have them, you cry"

"Jobs should higher you weather you have a fella knee or a mister meaner"

"Jobs that don't exist anymore: 1. Steve"

Jobsolete (job + obsolete)

Jock Cosplay (fans wearing sports jerseys)

Jock Tax

Jockularity (jock + jocularity)

Joe Bag of Donuts (Joe Bag o' Donuts)

Joe Citizen or John Citizen (Jane Citizen)

Joe College

Joe Doakes

Joe Frogger (cookie)

Joe O'Malley (Irish coffee)

Joe Sixpack (Jane Sixpack)

Joe Taxpayer or John Taxpayer (Jane Taxpayer)

Joe Voter or John Voter (Jane Voter)

"Jogging combines my 2 favorite things: gasping for air and looking stupid"

"John 3:16" (sports usage)

John Chinaman (John Confucius)

John Q. Public (Jane Q. Public)

Johnny-on-a-Pony (Johnny-Ride-a-Pony)

Johnny Pump

"Johnny thought that H2O was H2SO4" (chemistry rhyme)

Johnson City, Binghamton, Endicott: Triple Cities

"Join a union, because its very unlikely three ghosts will appear and scare your boss"

"Join the 2 day challenge. No alcohol on February 30 and 31"

"Join the 3 day challenge. No alcohol on February 29, 30 and 31"

"Join the Army, travel the world, meet interesting people and kill them"

"Joined a 'fear of buffets' help group. I was warned against signing up, but I couldn't help myself"

Jokelahoma (Oklahoma nickname)

Joker Stairs (1165 Shakespeare Avenue, Bronx)

"Jokes about bad pole-vaulters don't seem to go over very well"

"Jokes about German sausage are the wurst"

"Jokes about white sugar are rare. Jokes about brown sugar -- Demerara"

Jolly Green Giant (McGraw-Hill Building)

"Jonathan and Granny Smith fell in love and lived appley ever after"

"Jones" (a craving) and Great Jones Alley/Street

Jones Mahal or JonesMahal (Dallas Cowboys Stadium in Arlington)

Joos (spelling of "Jews")

"José, can you see" ("Star-Spangled Banner" mondegreen)

"Journalists do it daily"

"Journalism: A profession to explain to others what it personally does not understand"

"Journalism consists in buying white paper at two cents a pound and selling it at ten cents a pound"

"Journalism is about covering important stories. With a pillow, until they stop moving"

"Journalism is literature in a hurry"

"Journalists become journalists because they aren't any good at math" (journalism adage)

Journey Always Late or Just Arrives Late (Japan Airlines or JAL backronymic nickname)

Journey Of the Broke ("job" backronym)

Joy of Sake

Joyflation (joy + deflation/inflation)

J. P. Morgue (JPMorgan Chase nickname)

JPig (JPMorgan Chase nickname)

Juan Smith (El Paso's "John Q. Public")

Judas Steer

"Judge, 60% of my parking tickets are bogus" (joke)

"Judge, I want to contest 50% of my parking tickets" (joke)

"Judge, I want to contest 80% of my parking tickets" (joke)

"Judge, if you truly are what you eat, then I am an innocent man"

Jughead

Juice Box (Minute Maid Park nickname)

Juice Crawl

"July is a blind date with summer"

"July is like the Saturday of summer"

Jumbleberry Pie (Jumble Berry Pie)

Jumbo State (Texas nickname)

Jumbotron

Jump City (New Orleans nickname)

"June is almost over? Julying"

"June is like the Friday of summer"

"June is over already? Julying"

"June over? Julying"

"June's over? Julying"

Juneteenth (June 19th, or Emancipation Day)

Jungle Alley (West 133rd Street)

"Junior Mints are just mini York Peppermint Patties"

"Junior Mints are just small York Peppermint Patties"

"Junior Mints implies the existence of Freshman, Sophomore and Senior Mints"

"Junior Mints implies the existence of Senior Mints"

"Junior Mints imply the existence of Senior Mints"

Junk Food

"Junk is something you keep for years, then throw away two weeks before you actually need it"

Junket

"Junkies snort curry powder instead of cocaine. One's now in a korma, the other's got a dodgy tikka"

Jurassic Park (Morgan Stanley office for its older bankers)

"Jurassic restaurants always make the diner sore"

"Just a reminder that mammogramming your boobs is more important than Instagramming them"

"Just a reminder that white chocolate is not chocolate and is in fact made of lies"

"Just a reminder that you still have plenty of time to do your taxes at the last minute"

"Just a two-step back in time" (Coupland Inn and Dancehall)

"Just accidentally put my donor card into the ATM machine. It cost me an arm and a leg"

"Just ate a whole bag of chips, but it was 'reduced fat' so it was basically like going to the gym"

"Just because I give you advice doesn’t mean I know more than you"

"Just because my pizza consists of 12 slices doesn't mean I need 11 new friends"

"Just because you beat the man, it doesn't make you the man"

"Just because you don't take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't in you"

"Just because you pour syrup on something doesn't make it pancakes"

"Just been on a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies"

"Just been on a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies"

"Just been sacked as an ice cream tester. I refused to do Sundaes"

"Just booked a table for Valentine's Day. I hope she likes snooker"

"Just bought some Viagra tea bags. They stop your biscuit from going soft"

"Just call me the little engine that said, 'OK, but I need some coffee first'"

"Just changed my password to '14days' but it said it was too weak"

"Just checked my bank account and it looks like everyone getting text messages for Christmas"

"Just Dance implies the existence of Unjust Dance"

"Just don't get how people afford life without a job. I can't even afford it with a job"

"Just drove past a road sign that read, 'Beware Hidden Dip.' I hope it’s garlic"

Just Dumb ("J.D." backronym)

"Just for the halibut" ("just for the hell of it" euphemism)

"Just found out I've failed my German exam. Sacre bleu!"

"Just found out there's no popcorn in popcorn shrimp. Guess there's no reason to try pot roast"

"Just gave my hamster a coffee because I don't want him falling asleep at the wheel"

"Just gone online for a video conference call. A can of corned beef popped up on my screen. Must be a zoom meat tin"

"Just got a job as senior director at Old MacDonald's Farm. I'm the CIEIO"

"Just got kicked out of the hospital for telling the Covid patients to stay positive"

"Just got the perfect tool for making a good Indian flat bread. It's a naan stick pan"

"Just had a Belgian waffle. Next, I'm going to make him dance"

"Just had coffee so strong that it woke up my ancestors"

"Just had lunch at a Christian restaurant called 'The Lord Giveth.' They also do takeaways"

"Just had my car waxed. No idea how it gets so hairy"

"Just heard a British person call Oreos “chocolate sandwich biscuits'"

"Just like New York" ("Just like downtown")

"Just like our bodies, our minds need exercise ..." (joke)

"Just Like You Like It" (Whataburger slogan)

"Just once, I'd like to clock out from work by sliding down a dinosaur"

"Just opened my electric bill and my water bill at the same time and was completely shocked"

Just Over Broke ("job" backronym)

"Just overheard a girl order a Bloody Mary when apple juice wasn't available..."

"Just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now"

"Just passed my cheerleading exam. I went in to the exam room and said 'Give me an A!' so they did"

"Just put salt on the napkin in this bar so the napkin doesn't stick to the bottom of my drink..."

"Just received my master's degree in garden fencing. I’m now a post graduate"

"Just remember who will always be there for you. DISHES. They will literally always be there"

"Just renewed my gin membership"

"Just saw loads of pears at a meeting. They must be Conference pears"

"Just seen a burglar kicking his own door in. He was working from home"

"Just so we're clear, I have no problem with the LG HDTV Community"

"Just so we're clear, The Grinch never really hated Christmas. He hated people, which is fair"

"Just so you know, we're ashamed the president of the United States is from Texas" (Dixie Chicks)

"Just spent 45 minutes on the treadmill. Tomorrow my goal is to turn it on"

"Just spilt coffee on my new pants. They're cappuchinos now"

"Just text us when you're here. There's no need to knock and get the dogs involved"

"Just to be clear, none of this matters if there is a virus" (said at Constitutional Convention)

"Just to be clear, we have all agreed that liquor stores are 'essential' and schools are not"

"Just tried some vegan mayo, it wasn't bad. Made the chicken sandwich taste lovely"

"Just tried to buy toilet paper, but the grocery store’s supply was wiped out"

"Just trying to find the YEE to my HAW, and I keep finding the HELL to my NAW"

"Just turned wine into vomit. Your move, Jesus"

"Just walked past a sign that read, 'This fire door is alarmed'" (joke)

"Just when I'm on the verge of growing cynical about our society I see an old woman smile and..."

"Just when you find the key to the market, they change the locks"

"Justice is a dish best served cold" (otherwise, just-ice would probably melt)

"Justice will not be served until those who are unaffected are as outraged as those who are"