Paul F. Taylor submitted this champagne bottle joke to the Edinburgh Festival Fringe in 2009:
“If you ever have trouble opening a bottle of champagne. My advice, hit it with a ship. I’ve seen people do that. It works.”
The joke has been included in at least two joke books.
Independent (London, UK)
The best jokes of the Fringe
The Edinburgh Festival is the UK’s biggest comedy jamboree. Here is a selection of the great – and not so great – punch lines from the first week
Compiled by Julian Hall Friday 14 August 2009 23:00 BST
(...)
“If you ever have trouble opening a bottle of champagne. My advice, hit it with a ship. I’ve seen people do that. It works.”
Paul F Taylor, Pleasance Courtyard
Twitter
Guy Adams
@guyadams
Ever have trouble opening a bottle of champagne? Hit it with a ship. I’ve seen people do that. It works. #fridayjokes http://bit.ly/2EfOYE
6:47 PM - 14 Aug 2009
Hastings & St. Leonards Observer (UK)
The Observer’s Top Five Jokes from 1066 Country
Published: 11:21 Updated: 12:13 Wednesday 23 December 2009
(...)
“If you ever have trouble opening a bottle of champagne. My advice, hit it with a ship. I’ve seen people do that. It works.” – Paul F Taylor
Google Books
The Mammoth Book of Great British Humour
Edited by Michael Powell
London, UK: Constable & Robinson Ltd
2010
Pg. ?:
If you ever have trouble opening a bottle of champagne, my advice – hit it with a ship. I’ve seen people do that. It works.
Paul F. Taylor
Google Books
The Mammoth Book of One-Liners
Edited by Geoff Tibballs
London, UK: Constable & Robsinon Ltd
2011
Pg. ?:
Ever have trouble opening a bottle of champagne? My advice: hit it with a ship. I’ve seen people do that. It works.
Russell Kane
Twitter
Shit Jokes
@ShitJokes
Ever had trouble opening a bottle of champagne?
Hit it with a ship!, I’ve seen people do that, it works.
3:01 PM - 29 Sep 2017
Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006. Now a Popeyes fast food restaurant on Google Maps.
Recent entries:
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“Online flirting is all fun and games until someone buys a plane ticket” (5/27)
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“Only in America can you get arrested for feeding the homeless & be sentenced to community service” (5/27)
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“In Texas, the shortest distance between two points is likely under construction” (5/27)
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“New York is the only town where the shortest distance between two points is under construction” (5/27)
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Entry in progress—BP (5/26)
More new entries...
Above, Big Apple Corner at 54th Street and Broadway in Manhattan. Google Maps.
Above, John J. Fitz Gerald, from the Aug. 15, 1931, Binghamton (NY) Press, pg. 14.
Listen to Robert Emmerich introduce "The Big Apple," a hit song from 1937. Music written by Bob and performed by Tommy Dorsey's Clambake Seven with Bob on piano. Lyrics written by Buddy Bernier and sung by Edythe Wright. Audio provided by Dorothy Emmerich.
Also listen to a 1937 "The Big Apple" song by Ozzie Nelson and his Orchestra. See a 1929 photo of John J. Fitz Gerald and a 1931 photo of John J. Fitz Gerald.
This site is edited by Barry Popik.