A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006. Now a Popeyes fast food restaurant on Google Maps.

Recent entries:
“One day you will be dead and you won’t be able to play on your phone so…” (2/23)
“Coffee doesn’t ask me stupid questions in the morning. Be more like coffee” (2/23)
“It’s Friday. Walk in. Fuck shit up. Walk out” (2/23)
“I wonder who farts in the packets of ham before sealing them up?” (2/23)
“I just heard someone refer to Texas as ‘Howdy Arabia’ and I still haven’t stopped laughing” (2/22)
More new entries...

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“One minute, you’re young and fun. And the next, you’re turning down the car stereo to see better”

“Nudeles: noodles cooked while naked”

“I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts: Leave me the fu cologne”

“I have to plug my phone into the charger so much I basically have a landline again”

“Nudeles: noodles eaten while naked”

“Sometimes I delete my own posts because I’m not the same person I was 4 minutes ago”

“For every action, there is a social media overreaction”

“Junk is something you keep for years, then throw away two weeks before you actually need it”

“The only thing I know for sure about today is coffee. Everything else is just wild speculation”

“Employees must stop crying before returning to work. And wash your hands” (bathroom sign)

“Someone threw a bottle of mayo at me. I was like, what the Hellmann”

“Philosophy is wondering if a Bloody Mary counts as a smoothie”

“My first time using an elevator was an uplifting experience, The second time let me down”

“Somebody just threw a jar of mayonnaise at me. I was like, ‘What the Hellmann?’”

“Last night I dreamt I ate a ten pound marshmallow. When I woke up, my pillow was gone”

“I took my car in for a service this morning. I couldn’t get it through the church doors”

“Home is where my plants are”

“Coffee isn’t helping. Get the jumper cables!”

“Coffee isn’t working. Get the jumper cables!”

“You can’t build with someone who ain’t trying to help you carry the bricks”

“Coffee: Mother Nature’s jumper cables”

“Why call it a land dispute, and not ground beef?”

“An opinion without 3.14 is just an onion”

“I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts: Leave me the fuck cologne”

“Home is where the plants are”

“Home is where your plants are”

“Sometimes I delete my own posts because I’m not the same person I was 5 minutes ago”

“CPR is just the human version of blowing into a video game cartridge hoping it’ll work again”

“I used to run a riding school, but business kept falling off”

“Did you hear about the funeral home that closed? Apparently business was dead”

“I thought the dryer made my clothes shrink. Turns out it was the refrigerator”

“I used to have a riding academy, but business kept falling off”

“I accidentally blew up my chemistry lab in high school. Oxidants happen!”

“What do you call a genetically engineered cow?”/“A mootant.”

“I would never try to poison you. Now eat your Pb and Jelly Sandwich”

“Dropping a cup of coffee usually wakes you up more than drinking it”

“Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it”

“The coronavirus won’t last long because it was made in China”

“Math tells us of the three saddest love stories…”

“Don’t drink water while studying. Chemistry says that concentration decreases on adding water”

“How do pirates pay for a round of rum down at the pub?”/“With bar-nickels.”

“Chicken loses job. Chicken is broke. Chicken strips”

“In journalism, the pay might be low and the hours long, but at least everyone hates you”

“The oilfield never sleeps” (adage)

“The oil field never sleeps” (adage)

“Conversation is a two-way street” (adage)

“Dogs welcome inside. Please tie children to post out front” (sign)

“If you think vegans are easily offended, tell a meat eater you made wings out of cauliflower”

“Eat pussy, not animals”

“How’s your rabbit food?”/“How’s your vulture food?”

“Getting a tattoo of pi would be irrational”

“What do you call naked pasta?”/“Nudeles.”

“Field hockey is extreme golf”

“Surprise your girlfriend this Valentine’s Day. Introduce her to your wife!”

Madness Square Garden (Madison Square Garden nickname)

“Keep your friends close, but your coffee closer”

“Keep your friends close and your coffee closer. They might steal it”

“My 2yo referred to her coat pockets as ‘snack holes’ and this is what I shall forever call them”

“Just got the perfect tool for making a good Indian flat bread. It’s a naan stick pan”

“Keep your friends close and your coffee closer”

“Would the makers of a movie about a flat earth accept a Golden Globe award?”

“What part of ‘I don’t want to spend anymore money’ don’t I understand?”

“I made some jerk chicken today. He didn’t even say ‘thank you’!”

“I got so drunk last night I walked across the dance floor to get a drink & won a dance contest”

“Adam and Eve: The first people to not read the Apple terms and conditions”

“One time my kid’s elementary school went 6 days in a row without a fundraiser”

“Just remember who will always be there for you. DISHES. They will literally always be there”

“I wish for a world without lawyers” (joke)

“Coughs and sneezes spread diseases”

“My favorite part about having a job is assuming you’re fired every time your boss calls…”

“Just found out there’s no popcorn in popcorn shrimp. Guess there’s no reason to try pot roast”

“Preschool rules and bar rules are the same. You pee your pants, you go home”

“Pre-school rules and bar rules are the same. You piss your pants, you go home”

“There’s banana juice, but bananas don’t have juice”

“I consider page 2 of Google results the dark web”

“I’ve worn this for 20 years and it still fits.”/“It’s a scarf.”

“Safety first. Just kidding, coffee first. Safety’s like third or fourth”

“Coffee is my emotional support beverage”

“There are two types of people: Coffee people and sad people”

“There are two kinds of people: Coffee people and sad people”

“You call it coffee. I call it my emotional support beverage”

“Reading won’t solve your problems. But then again, neither will housework”

“Accidentally went grocery shopping on an empty stomach and now I’m the proud owner of aisle 7”

“If you bump your head on a coffee maker, does it leave a brews?”

“Field hockey is running golf”

“Field hockey is aggressive golf”

“Field hockey is fast golf”

“Erasers slowly sacrifice their lives for our mistakes”

“A weatherman was sacked because of cold, gloomy forecasts. No more mist and ice guy”

MAGA (Microsoft, Apple, Google and Amazon)

“Don’t let the government take away your favorite side dish. They’re trying to disenfrenchfries you”

“Field hockey is combat golf”

“Who can drink 20 liters of gasoline?”/“Jerry can.”

“If you unfriend me and later send another friend request, there will be a $29.99 reconnection fee”

“Just booked a table for Valentine’s Day. I hope she likes snooker”

“I’ve just booked a table for Valentine’s Day. I hope she likes pool”

“Who can drink 2 liters of gasoline?”/“Jerry can.”

“People crying about stepping on Legos have never heard of Jacks!”

“Coconut water tastes like water that’s already been in someone’s mouth”

“A pencil is an acoustic pen”

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